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Open Poetry #7
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Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2000-06-05 08:57 PM


This Slivered Moon


I could see the slivered moon
in the western sky resplendent
and in the shadow thus displayed
reverence spoke as purple iris
knelt together petals folded  
and behind them in the bower
sunflowers bowed like dolls with yellow hair
tired from sunlight’s hold on watching.

And then the magic evening breezes
touched the sage and released such magic
frog voices spilled from off the mountains
across the canyon’s echoed chamber
and stillness folded in my vision
and brought me too complete delighting
quenched the hunger of my spirit
touched my moonlit face beguiling.

Oh slivered moon with shadowed light
dream me perfect in your drenching
breeze this spirit with this loving
touch of magic moving heaven
beguile my skin to soft with light
engorge my sleep with fragrant dream
keep me in your quiet watch
as day succumbs to nighttime’s peace.

< !signature-->

 In the dew of little things,
the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed.
(ee cummings)


[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 06-05-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2000-06-05 09:09 PM


Martie~
Oh, my !  
How absolutely beautiful ...
and my favorite subject !  
You are the best !
Unequivocally ... the best !

'frog voices spilled from off the mountains
across the canyon’s echoed chamber
and stillness folded in my vision
and brought me too complete delighting'

And you, dear poetess ... have brought me
to complete delighting !
God, this is beautiful ....
I effuse, I know .... but oh, my !

'sunflowers bowed like dolls with yellow hair
tired from sunlight’s hold on watching'

If I don't stop now ... I'll end up copying
the entire poem ! !

It's printing now ... and tomorrow it
goes in a frame for my office.
Beautiful, Martie.
Love you ... and thank you for this gift.
~*Marge*~




 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
2 posted 2000-06-05 09:16 PM


Martie,

What an absolutely beautiful picture you have painted!!!  Thank you for sharing it.  Just lovely.  I hope that you have very sweet dreams, my friend.  Fabulous writing!  

Lone Wolf


 Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end.
--Michael W. Smith

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
3 posted 2000-06-05 10:11 PM


Another classic, Martie!  So beautiful, truly!

Corinne

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
4 posted 2000-06-05 10:23 PM


This is ridiculous. NO  ONE continually writes this good! You have a team of writers living in your house...don't lie to me!

This is precious... the moon and you...two heavenly bodies...the perfect combination.

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
5 posted 2000-06-05 10:29 PM


This is absolutely enchanting, Martie!  I am totally in love with this....especially the last verse.  Pure magic.  

 *Krista Knutson*

"Thought is real, physical is the illusion..." Albert from ~What Dreams May Come~



Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
6 posted 2000-06-05 11:34 PM


Wow this is beautiful!  Your metaphors are quite amazing and the imagery is astounding!  *Applauds*

 Abrahm Simons

"In a moment lies eternity
And in a kiss resides forever" - Krista Knutson my bestest friend!

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

7 posted 2000-06-06 12:15 PM


Martie... you have graced us with a slice of
slendor.  I have reread three times now and am still in awe.  What an absolutely beautiful poem.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2000-06-06 02:58 AM


where do you live my dear poet...
cause I need to come and look out your window
my view here is missing something...
oh i know--
YOUR poetic vision...*smile*
*sigh*
ok me and my poet envy will go to bed now
sweet dreams martie-gator  
jm

btw...did i mention this poem was exquisite..
and perfect...

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
9 posted 2000-06-06 04:24 AM


Poetic Perfection
Plus all those things Marge said
You truly are the best, my dear
You left me with wondrous visions, the moon from your eyes is a moon that no one else sees, and then you write it
Love liz

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

10 posted 2000-06-06 05:14 AM


Oh MArtie, Beautiful, beautiful!

and this...
Oh slivered moon with shadowed light
dream me perfect in your drenching
breeze this spirit with this loving
touch of magic moving heaven
beguile my skin to soft with light
engorge my sleep with fragrant dream
keep me in your quiet watch
as day succumbs to nighttime’s peace.

*sighhhh*
Keep them coming!!  

 Je t'aime plus qu'hier et moins que demain."
I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow
(unkown)



Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
11 posted 2000-06-06 05:37 AM


Simply beautiful Martie ... I echo all above comments ... lovely verse!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
12 posted 2000-06-06 09:43 AM


Sorry, but the slivered moon isn't sinking just yet, so I'm putting it high in yhe sky
Liz

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
13 posted 2000-06-06 10:05 AM


Oh, this is lovely...shine on  
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

14 posted 2000-06-06 10:20 AM


Martie this is absoulutely beautiful! Such a lovely picture you have created!

Denise

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
15 posted 2000-06-06 10:35 AM


Thank you so much all you loved and lovely poets for such wonderful comments about this poem.  Marge, thank you dear for sending me a printable version and for hanging it on your wall..how very special, and Liz for replying twice...wow!  What a great start to a new day!
Wicked Witch of the East
Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 69

16 posted 2000-06-06 08:56 PM


'Tis a beautiful poem you've written here that deserves a bump back up to the top.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
17 posted 2000-06-07 04:35 PM


Another day's gone by
And the slivered moon rises high in the sky once more
So that all the world may come know the wonders of a slivered moon through Martie's eyes.
And that is truly a wonder to behold

Liz

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
18 posted 2000-06-07 04:57 PM


Hey witchy--you're not so wicked after all...thanks for the bump.

Liz--I'm so glad that you like this poem...no one ever replied three times before...thanks sweet lady!

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
19 posted 2000-06-07 06:11 PM


I am new here at this forum but I have to say that when it comes to honest heartfelt poetry that this is down to earth and beautiful. No self righteous display of incongruous vocabulary, just very tastefully done.
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