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she does all the right things
| Open Poetry #7 |
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she does all the right things |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209
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in her mind she is one with the dance she closes her eyes as he encircles her waist with his hands her arms willow and slowly she bends turns and sways safe in his embrace in his acceptance humming softly to the music they create gracefully releasing the pressures the stress of the day by habit her fingers clutch the wheel and put the turn signal at the appropriate places she downshifts to save wear and tear she does all the right things she never exceeds the speed limit... on the way home [This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 06-05-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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sea_of_okc Senior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 568Oklahoma City, OK, USA |
Very nice imagery. I like the break and the harsh change of mood from her serene and beautiful daydreaming to reality. Nice job! |
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Alle'cram Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816Texas |
Same person, huh.. well, I liked her dancing because I like to dance; liked her routine safety habits driving, (must confess, I can not drive 55); Pretty all round perfect picture you painted. Good job. marcy |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
elegant dancer, habituated by life's routine ways, beautiful dreams of love and grace, each day, with same path pass by... ------------------------- wonderful work Corazon, regards, sudhir Hey you, out there in the cold, Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me? Hey you, standing in the aisle, With itchy feet and fading smile, can you feel me? Hey you, don't help them to bury the light. Don't give in without a fight. Hey you, out there on your own, Sitting naked by the phone, would you touch me? Hey you, with your ear against the wall, Waiting for someone to call out, would you touch me? Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone? Open your heart, I'm coming home.... by Roger Waters (Pink Floyd) - The Wall |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Yeah, right... If she is who I think she is, she puts the pedal to the medal and dares the cops to notice! *G* The transition from dreamy to numb-minded acceptance is great... Well done! |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
sea, yep stark contrast...you hit it right, thanks  alle, well, it is not always so perfect, reread the ending...(or lol, maybe its me the poet who needs to do a rewrite) thanks for the read and comments sudhir, thank you suthern, I missed you aren't you supposed to be busy *bg*...like I wouldn't trade a few minutes of your busy time for a read on my poem in a heartbeat thanks girl...but still I guess I missed it with this one...the ending says it all....lol...I never never confessed to NOT speeding...just...not on the way home [This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 06-05-2000).] |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Sometimes doing the right things (or at least what we believe to be right in our minds) is the only thing that keeps us hanging on. It's hard to learn to do what's "right for us", but I'm learning and I really believe you are too. So take the long way home tonight and spread your wings just a bit and see how great it feels to fly Hugs |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
now how could I argue with advise that makes me smile from ear to ear, thanks hoot...am trying...you give me inspiration my friend |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Madam, you may not always do the right thing but you always do the "write" thing! Every one of your poems puts me right there inside your head....a pretty nice place, really  |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
bal you have a way of commenting that makes the author feel good thanks |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Corazon~ this really packs a punch. I enjoyed it. -SEA |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Corazon, you are with the right dance with this one.... I wonder if maybe there isn't a little bit of a speed demon in there... Parker |
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