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Open Poetry #7
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the rain's reign
| Open Poetry #7 |
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the rain's reign |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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-the rain's reign- rewrite of a very old poem From the window, drops stream And lengthen liquid shadows across the room. Dark, transparent water across the papers I am reading. I look at old poetry, to see where I came from. Lots of quick fire burning itself out, But some beauty, too. The drops play with the words On the page, near the window. I smile at the water's newest, secret function. I once wrote that rain Crumbled temples to muddy ruin, Left abstract art decayed in sod. (I think I was angry at god) I'd like to take pictures Of these delicate shadows playing. But I know flashcubes would ruin The subtlety of their being. So I'll have to be quick And sculpt words for the rain's reign. Refreshing; though imagined, But there all the same. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
From the window, drops stream And lengthen liquid shadows across the room. Dark, transparent water across the papers I am reading. I look at old poetry, to see where I came from. Lots of quick fire burning itself out, But some beauty, too. -------------------- I once wrote that rain Crumbled temples to muddy ruin, Left abstract art decayed in sod. (I think I was angry at god) I'd like to take pictures Of these delicate shadows playing. But I know flashcubes would ruin The subtlety of their being. So I'll have to be quick And sculpt words for the rain's reign. Refreshing; though imagined, But there all the same. ----------------- oh man... this one is perfect... amazing imagery mike... and I'm dizzy and giddy now... what a lovely eve Im having... almost as good as it would be if I was sitting in one of those poetry open- mike cafe's listening to you read these aloud...how cool would that be  WAY COOL me thinks... thank you for your kind reply to my poem...'tis much appreciated. later cool-squirrel-gator |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Again, the imagery.....how much can I say without being redundant...liked the mood of contented aloneness here...slow detailed visuals...lovely, again, Mike... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Words and poems about raindrops on the window always get to me for some strange reason. You did an excellent job with this one, Mike. and "looking at old poetry to see where I came from"...wow! It doesn't get any truer than that. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
So visual Mike, this was a wonderful verse, and I too loved the line "I look at old poetry, to see where I came from." I've been doing a bit of that lately myself ... I really enjoyed this one Mike! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Mike~ This one is simply a wonderful reflection of who you are ... I like ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Bsquirrel~ This is a great poem, it made me feel invited in and cozy.  - SEA |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Janet Marie, Hey, come on out to California and you can hear me read this stuff three times a month (soon to be four). I'll be waiting! serenity, I love how you worded that: "contended aloneness." That's exactly right! Balladeer, Glad you enjoyed. The one scary thing about immersing yourself TOO much in old poetry is you start writing that way again for a few verses, then you have to go back and fix it. Kit, And best wishes to you, too. Thanks for reading. Marge, Glad to please a fellow member of the forest animal kingdom. SEA, Thanks. I try to break down the walls between the reader and poet, even when that can be painful. Glad you enjoyed. Mike |
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