Open Poetry #7 |
Pocket Change ...............revised |
Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Pocket Change ~~~ At the Donut shop before the dawn a faceless vagrant too is drawn He rifles through unwanted trash with a careless glance as I go past ~ A busy spot both day and night with drive through line a constant sight Fresh donuts for the paying crowd what's left ... attracts those not so proud ~ Once inside the busy shop with fresh brewed coffee from simmering pot Aroma savored before I taste and not one drop will go to waste ~ I relax to shake the morning chill as thunder and lightning break the still Sheets of rain now drive him in near dripping wet with a hapless grin ~ Can I help you Sir ? the clerks' hollow tone then time stood silent ... with a heartless moan This challenge answered through my reply my nod ... I'd catch the bill and buy ~ He sat protracting every sip watching rain beat at the door I ordered one to go and left enough to pay for four ~~~ [This message has been edited by Rex Allen McCoy (edited 05-31-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Rex Allen McCoy - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jana Tovey Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 257USA |
Your style draws out the story, pulling us into the vagrant's shoes. This is effective and it makes the reader take a step back and pay attention instead of pretending not to see. |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
thankyou Jana ... kind of you to reply |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
It's hard to believe that you made this one even better, but you did! Denise |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Rex Allen, Wonderful read here, this shows the loving kindness in you. Thanks for sharing. Love, Cerenity |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
WOW Rex great one Well done. It feels great to help those in need -- `netswan |
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