Open Poetry #7 |
Simple Words |
LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
The dawning of their bitter past began without fanfare, One word flowing a bit too fast that shouldn't have been there. He meant to say (he thought to say) what was on his mind, But instead he found there's hell to pay in being so unkind. She hadn't meant to overreact to what she thought he'd said, But the heart often hears a set of facts that slips on past the head. And so those souls, so once entwined, began to slip apart, Leaving only loneliness behind to chill their bitter hearts. With troubled hearts they divided and went on their separate ways, Were they right? It was undecided, regardless of what they'd pay. Their parting ways left them both dead; there's no wonder in why that was, Trust demands that more be said than the simple word, "Because." |
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© Copyright 2000 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved | |||
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
oman this kills love it and its so true |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Walt - thanks, man - I really mean it - "kills" is a great compliment - I appreciate that a lot. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Nice work Sir!! HUSG |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Very well done! Just one word can start this kind of downward twist that ends in so much sadness. Excellent writing! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I like this because: it's written by you and because it's so true.. nice to read you again... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
There ya go, sailor, once again with your sincere, poignant poetry just to remind us that you've got talent to spare. This one really works for me. Good words, good flow and an excellent rhyme scheme. Now STAY for a spell, ya hear????? |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
My goodness, what a message...hits ya right here, you know. Wonderful to read your work, kind sir. Now, listen to 'deer and stay a spell! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Quite a message...I have looked at words as possessing lots of power...they can be words of life or words of death...we need to carefully choose our words..especially where love is involved. James |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
wow, my sailor friend, you said a mouthful with this...its so sad that we *let* this happen to something special, instead of breaking down the pride and saying...hey wait a minute.... great writing |
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Jana Tovey Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 257USA |
Beautifully put. There's so much truth in what you said about the heart hearing what slips on past the head. Would relationships benefit from if we argued in verse? Hmmm... |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
It's always a delight to read the verses you write this one seemingly captures the emotion and feelings ~ A powerful piece LongJohn that holds truth to its meaning! Coco |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
You're a wise and insightful man, my dear friend - Nice to see you posting again.. |
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