navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #7 » Simple Words
Open Poetry #7
Post A Reply Post New Topic Simple Words Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

0 posted 2000-05-30 04:15 PM


The dawning of their bitter past began without fanfare,
One word flowing a bit too fast that shouldn't have been there.
He meant to say (he thought to say) what was on his mind,
But instead he found there's hell to pay in being so unkind.

She hadn't meant to overreact to what she thought he'd said,
But the heart often hears a set of facts that slips on past the head.
And so those souls, so once entwined, began to slip apart,
Leaving only loneliness behind to chill their bitter hearts.

With troubled hearts they divided and went on their separate ways,
Were they right?  It was undecided, regardless of what they'd pay.
Their parting ways left them both dead; there's no wonder in why that was,
Trust demands that more be said than the simple word, "Because."

© Copyright 2000 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
1 posted 2000-05-30 04:18 PM


oman this kills love it and its so true
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
2 posted 2000-05-30 04:24 PM


Walt - thanks, man - I really mean it - "kills" is a great compliment - I appreciate that a lot.
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
3 posted 2000-05-30 04:34 PM


Nice work Sir!!

HUSG

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2000-05-30 04:35 PM


Very well done!  Just one word can start this kind of downward twist that ends in so much sadness.  Excellent writing!
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
5 posted 2000-05-30 04:39 PM


I like this because: it's written by you and because it's so true.. nice to read you again...  
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
6 posted 2000-05-30 05:32 PM


There ya go, sailor, once again with your sincere, poignant poetry just to remind us that you've got talent to spare.  

This one really works for me. Good words, good flow and an excellent rhyme scheme. Now STAY for a spell, ya hear?????

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
7 posted 2000-05-30 05:37 PM


My goodness, what a message...hits ya right here, you know.  Wonderful to read your work, kind sir.  Now, listen to 'deer and stay a spell!  
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2000-05-30 06:31 PM


Quite a message...I have looked at words as possessing lots of power...they can be words of life or words of death...we need to carefully choose our words..especially where love is involved.    James
Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

9 posted 2000-05-30 07:13 PM


wow, my sailor friend, you said a mouthful with this...its so sad that we *let* this happen to something special, instead of breaking down the pride and saying...hey wait a minute....
great writing  

Jana Tovey
Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 257
USA
10 posted 2000-05-30 07:27 PM


Beautifully put.  There's so much truth in what you said about the heart hearing what slips on past the head.  Would relationships benefit from if we argued in verse?  Hmmm...
CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

11 posted 2000-05-30 08:25 PM


It's always a delight to read the verses you write this one seemingly captures the emotion and feelings ~ A powerful piece LongJohn that holds truth to its meaning!
Coco

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
12 posted 2000-05-31 07:17 AM


You're a wise and insightful man, my dear friend - Nice to see you posting again..
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #7 » Simple Words

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary