Open Poetry #7 |
........my next life |
shilpi Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 73 |
i dedicate this poem to the person i want to be with, the most......if not in this life, but in the next atleast...... few lines, they maybe, but its everything i feel.... .....My Next Life If I am ever given the liberty of rebirth I'd choose to be reborn as your tear....... Born in your eyes Live on your cheeks Die in your lips [This message has been edited by shilpi (edited 05-26-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 shilpi - All Rights Reserved | |||
A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
This was so moving! Welcome to passions! |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
WOW, I'm not sure what to think or say about this one. It's so bitter sweet! To be so close to some one even if it's for just a short while. Welcome to Passions Shilpi. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Great start and wonderful thought... Shilpi, WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!!! And enjoy your stay here... Regards, sudhir. Life is like a painting, That in an art gallery is left hanging, Though many come just to look at it, A very few actually come to enjoy it. |
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shilpi Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 73 |
Romantic Heart, i'm glad u like it !! |
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Angelwings Member
since 1999-08-27
Posts 222IL, USA |
Wow shelpi~ What can I say? This poem although is short it's bittersweet. It must be nice to know who you want to be with and what complete dedication to that person as to be with them in the next life. What a wonderful honor this must be to that person. Welcome to Passions, I hope to see more of you! Sometimes the things you can't find the words for come to you in the form of a poem~just sit down and let it flow. |
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Angelwings Member
since 1999-08-27
Posts 222IL, USA |
I apologize for spelling your name wrong shilpi |
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shilpi Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 73 |
Irie, yes , it is very precious to be that close to someone u truly care about..... thanx for reading |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You've painted quite a picture here...and the forum moderator will be getting to you soon with a special Welcome to Passions! Sunshine Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
WOW!!!!! Welcome to Passions, Shilpi! Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Life If I am ever given the liberty of rebirth I'd choose to be reborn as your tear....... Born in your eyes Live in your cheeks Die in your lips beautiful imagery yet emotions of sadness, you summed up the desire for love perfectly. Well said, great poem. ------------------------ "Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? " Douglas Adams. "Here chewing your tail is joy" Richey Edwards "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Welcome to Passions, Shilpi What a beautiful poem. I do not feel it needed an explanation. Some poems manage to need one, but this one I would have recognized immediately of what it is. *Sigh* at such love - ~netswan |
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Lorraine Nisbet Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 218Jersey City, NJ USA |
Hi,shilpi, Short and sweet, couldn't get any better. Great imagery. Welcome! Your going to love it here. ~Lorraine |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Extremely well said in so short a piece. Welcome to Passions....wonderful place to be. jwesley P.S....would "live ON your cheeks" be better than "IN" your cheeks?? j. [This message has been edited by jwesley (edited 05-24-2000).] |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Welcome friend....very cool read here. Thanks for sharing. |
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shilpi Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 73 |
Thanks a lot ,Sudhir, it is indeed a pleasure to hear praises from a wonderful writer like you !! shilpi |
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shilpi Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 73 |
Well, infact, it is an honor for me to be with that person, who is in my heart. Thankyou , Angelwings, for reading and posting your response. p.s. the spelling mistake, its alright !! [This message has been edited by shilpi (edited 05-26-2000).] |
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shilpi Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 73 |
Sunshine....know what is more satisfying than writing what is in your heart? its when people read and approve of it !! loads of thanks shilpi [This message has been edited by shilpi (edited 05-26-2000).] |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
this is very well done in presentation and those last two stanzas knocked me out great work o yuh welcome to passions! [This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 05-26-2000).] |
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shilpi Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 73 |
ESP, Netswan ,Lorraine & Spitfire , My hearty thanks to all you wonderful people for reading the poem !! Your encouragement is all it takes to be better. regards shilpi |
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shilpi Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 73 |
I wanted my poem to have a tinge of sadness or should i say,a haunting melancholy, also, because all those who have truly loved, know pretty well that love is not always a bed of roses, we do have to account for some thorns too !! Thankyou Brian !! shilpi |
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shilpi Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 73 |
Jwesley, thanks a lot for the suggestion, I have corrected it..... Its my pleasure to be here, in this wonderful place, surrounded by you fine people !! shilpi |
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shilpi Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 73 |
Wayoutwalt, lol , kinda knocked me off too while writing the poem !! regards, shilpi |
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killer222 Junior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 48Northolt,Middlesex,England |
Nice, Welcome to passions |
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shilpi Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 73 |
My pleasure, Killer222, mine indeed !! |
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David2 Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 407 |
Shilpi, Welcome to Passions! I enjoyed your poem. David2 |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
So much said in so little words ... a great accomplishment Shilpi! This was lovely ... welcome to Passions! Best wishes, /Kit |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
shilpi A terrific poem - on a lighter note, may I suggest you come back, not as a tear, but as one of those bottles of eyedrops they sell on TV with the cheesy adds about beachballs... that way you could lie around in her purse waiting for her to wake up from her semidrunken stupor with her mouth tasting like yesterday's discarded ashtray and the sweat of a strange man still reeking in the room as he slips out the door of the rundown hotel leaving her penniless and stuck with the hotel bill. Just a suggestion... grin Incidently - your poem was a terrific entry - welcome aboard and please treat my stuff as funloving [This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 05-26-2000).] |
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shilpi Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 73 |
Kit , David2.....thanks lot !! |
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shilpi Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 73 |
hmmm.....a bottle of eyedrops...hey, why not, thats a gr8 idea...!!! but it'd be quite stuffy in that , don't you think ? anyway, LngJhnAg , thanks for the suggestion !!! lol !! shilpi |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Great little poem! Welcome to passions! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
WOW Je t'aime plus qu'hier et moins que demain." I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow (unkown) |
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