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Open Poetry #7
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Day In The Rain ( co-written by Lone Wolf )
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Day In The Rain ( co-written by Lone Wolf ) |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! 
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 This poem was co-written by Lone Wolf. Thank you m'friend! We must do this again sometime Words of silence echo through this lonely room They speak loudly of impending doom I'll never know why I left her standing in the rain So much to lose, yet nothing to gain How did we ever get to this place God, how I miss her tender embrace The sweet smell of her perfume lingers Thought I felt, the gentle touch of her silken fingers Last night as I slept, her vision in my dreams Guess it wasn't as real as it seemed Another day awakened to a lonely bed Is it possible this is all in my head? Can't even look myself in the eye Since the day I told her good-bye Can't seem to stop this fountain of tears Feels like I've been crying for so many years She used to be mine, but I let her go It's a wonder my heart's beat continues to flow I'd give anything just to hear her voice I'd give up my life, if given the choice I know that she's gone, forever I fear But I will eternally hold her heart dear Forever reliving that day in the rain My heart doomed to dwell in perpetual pain I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeffrey D. Carter - All Rights Reserved | |||
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Jeffry and Lone Wolf what fun it is to write a poem together. Beautifully done! hugs to you two netswan |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
LoneWolf and Jeffrey~ A lovely collaboration you two created. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
It is interesting to read a poem from two different voices, great team effort, really enjoyed reading it, both beautiful and sad. I would love to write a poem with someone so if any one is interested e-mail me at lost_boy_zero@hotmail.com |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Nice work, Jeffery and Lone Wolf... Nice flow of thoughts and intensity in feelings here.... Regards, sudhir. Life is like a painting, That in an art gallery is left hanging, Though many come just to look at it, A very few actually come to enjoy it. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"I'll never know why I left her standing in the rain...so much to lose..yet nothing to gain".. Reminded me of an old girlfriend..Nancy Daughters...that I broke up with in the rain. We had broken up before but this was The DAY and I walked home in the pouring rain and I was pouring tears...and somehow I knew that was the last breakup...This is the one I wanted to read...what a team...keep up the good work...James |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wonderful collaboration!! This is a meeting of the poetic soul....I love it.  |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
.gif) One poem, one voice two beautiful souls. A sad colaboration of pain, my hope is that you both find healing in the release together (which I know you will) Two fine poets and when you join as a team.... Amazing!! *hugs* to you both |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Lonewolf & Jeffrey...you two did a fabulous job here, although very sad. I think the rain brings out the most intense of feelings sometimes. And raindrops do mingle well with tears. You can cry, and most won't even know you're crying.... This poem touched me in a special sort of way, but I'm struggling to put my finger on it. If I figure it out, I'll let you guys know.  Again, fantastic work!"Laugh and the world laughs with you..." cry, and you're all alone. My version - pFF |
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hsystems Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 319Murray, UT, USA |
Lonewolf & Jeffrey - you are two of my favorite poets here, and this poem is an excellent example of why! You both have such wonderful hearts, and your feelings flow so smoothly into your poetry! {{{HUGS}}} to both of you, and thanks for sharing this beautiful collaboration! BTW, Jeffrey - I love you man, LOL!  Troy Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Can't even look myself in the eye Since the day I told her good-bye Can't seem to stop this fountain of tears Feels like I've been crying for so many years She used to be mine, but I let her go It's a wonder my heart's beat continues to flow I'd give anything just to hear her voice I'd give up my life, if given the choice ------------ wow, J,& LW this is SO emotional and excellently written you guys are great together, wonderful writing and soul searchin here. I hope you two try this again. jm It's amazing How you make your face just like a wall How you take your heart and turn it off How I turn my head and you lose it all ... And it's unnerving How one move just puts me by myself There you go just trusting someone else Now I know I put us both through hell ... I'm not sayin That there was nothing wrong I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me And I'm not sayin We ever had the right to hold on I just didn't wanna let you get away from me. ~MB20~Leave |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Thanks ya'll.....I think I can speak for us both when I say we had fun writing this quite a challenge to feed off each other's thoughts an excellent way to cure writer's block as well Lone Wolf...We gotta do this again All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~What a creatively crafty idea. Well done you two. Superb co-writing here. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Wow...Thank you to everyone who replied for your encouragement and great comments. Speak away for us, Jeffrey! You are right a lot of fun writing this!! Jeffrey...would love to write another with you!! Just say when!! |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow - you two did a remarkable job with this. It's always special when you can find someone who you can write "in tune" with. This one reaches deep, Jeffrey & Lonewolf - wonderful work. Michael |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Spitfire....Thanks from both of us. Lone Wolf....Anytime you want...can't wait Micheal....You are sooo right, really had fun writing this. All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
here ya go again penny, read it , print it , whatever....i feel like a jerk to keep sending my own work back to the top  sorry guys.....forgive me I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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