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Open Poetry #7
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Deconstructing Eve
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Deconstructing Eve |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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I bruise easy: the price to pay for the precious flesh I wear taut on my petite frame, I long for my skin to suffocate as a Clingfilm cocoon. Take care to paint me gingerly erasing all blemishes. Cleanse my skin, deconstruct my form or drain me if necessary, for I am going to look beautiful, tonight I diet: the sacrifice to be wanted by their eyes. No sweet cakes to churn bitter vomit. No alcohol, for I can not lose focus. You linger for hours unsure of how to approach such a splendid specimen, unsure on which areas to improve upon. Ready the scalpels, skin grafts and lasers, consult diagrams and magazines full of pictures of naked beauties you used to masturbate on, now to be studied to perfect this fatal flaw. When I am completed immerse my skin in Vaseline for there must be easy motion on my lusted flesh: the price to pay when reconstructing Eve. |
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| © Copyright 2000 brian madden - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Take care to paint me gingerly erasing all blemishes. Cleanse my skin, deconstruct my form or drain me if necessary, for I am going to look beautiful, tonight I diet: the sacrifice to be wanted by their eyes. ------------- this is excellently conceived and written. most creative. how rare to see a man write a poem thru a womans view. and the poem speaks volumes of how we are bombared with images and pressures to look perfect...very thought provoking piece. take care, jm [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 05-11-2000).] |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Very interesting indeed, from a man's point of view! How sad...how sad...how true. This is powerful sir. Painfully powerful. BRAVO for your creative way of speaking out. I loved the title, btw! |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
It seems that todays society has turned the female form, the essence of a woman into a commodity. There is so much pressure, all generated by companies. Image is everything or as said in the Bible "vanity of vanities, all is vanity." What made the poem more interesting for me to write is the fact that part of me is guilty of judging women on appearance, just these damn hormones. Thanks for your comments. |
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Enola Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 138England |
I love this poem! It's so powerful and excellently written. If you hadn't replied to my last poem, I probably wouldn't have read this, so thank you. I think the subject matter should be addressed more often, because these days, the pressure is so much greater and it isn't just on women. I don't think you could have written this more effectively. It is - dare I say it - perfect. The tragedy of it is that nobody sees the look of desperation on my face. Thousands and thousands of us, and we're passing one another without a look of recognition. |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
very creative and excellent writing! enjoyed reading this, dh |
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