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Open Poetry #7
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angelswing
Senior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 705
United Kingdom

0 posted 2000-05-09 06:11 AM


Binocular vision – snails eye view .

A sense of doom,
No piece of mind,
The darkness hangs over me now,
Twisted,
Bent,
Distorted,
Blind,
My sunshine left with you,
The light is gone,
Bright torch blown out,
Yet my flame still burns for you,
It shines the way I can never reach,
But always seems in view .

Written by Tom Baker  



 With poetry as your weapon - express your iner feelings so all may carry your sorrow, united as one .

© Copyright 2000 angelswing - All Rights Reserved
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 2000-05-09 06:38 AM


So few words, yet incredible impact AngelSwing ... I liked the style ... this was wonderful!

Best wishes,
/Kit

mete out
Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270
england
2 posted 2000-05-09 07:30 AM


***tom,
this is amazing bakes! i read it over 5 times and each time  the visuals got clearer, the words got more powerful..

i love the lines;
"My sunshine left with you,
The light is gone,
Bright torch blown out,
Yet my flame still burns for you"

fantastic yet again, you delve so deep.
well done mate.
lou  xxx


 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.



amazon_lover
Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491
Dublin,Ireland
3 posted 2000-05-09 05:08 PM


Hi
Thats beautiful. When my best friend left I felt the same but my heart still burns for her and only her. Just hold on.

Sincerely
A_L

angelswing
Senior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 705
United Kingdom
4 posted 2000-05-10 08:04 AM


Thanks to you all, this was a poem I wrote while the person that I cared for the most in the whole of the world lost contact with me . I fancied a change in style and tried writing some slightly shorter poems . I think that they still containthe same content but are more snappy and therefore easier to read .
Lou - I loved your last poem and many of your poems have inspired me to new levels and new challenges .
L.of.L. Tom .


 With poetry as your weapon - express your iner feelings so all may carry your sorrow, united as one .

Enola
Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 138
England
5 posted 2000-05-10 08:18 AM


Damn, this is really infectious.  I could (and want to ) read it over & over and not get bored of it and lose it's meaning.  I think you should try to write like this more often.  Well done my friend!
LoL.


 The tragedy of it is that nobody sees the look of desperation on my face. Thousands and thousands of us, and we're passing one another without a look of recognition.

infinat3 sadn3ss
Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 85
somerset england
6 posted 2000-05-10 03:07 PM


'ello bakes
           this is so simple yet so complicated . prooves you dont need to say much to say a lot . well , my mate . keep it up

 freedom is the right to say 2 + 2 = 4

angelswing
Senior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 705
United Kingdom
7 posted 2000-07-12 12:06 PM


Cheers Debs and Cabes, i get my inspiration from my friends and what's inside me so I should be thanking you for being there .
Cabes, I hope you don't mind, but I ripped the style almost directly off you as I admired your short yet snappy, strong and meaningful style, so had a go and turned out beter than my own !
Thanks .
L.of.L. Tom .


Don't try, do or do not, there is no try .
- Master Yoda -

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