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Open Poetry #7
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Is there light at the end of our tunnel?
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Is there light at the end of our tunnel? |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again 
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thoughts of lost < !signature-->i don't see a life past seventeen. i don't see a world ahead. all i see is my worthlessness. i see my body lying dead. i don't wanna live the rest of this life. i've lived enough thus far. i'd like to drink the world away and die standing at the bar. empty smiles and empty love. empty promises to an empty soul. the bulletholes are the eyes of snakes i see when the dice are rolled. blood on my jeans; cuts on my arms. i sit and share a thought with myself: "At least i'm only hurting me, but is my Heaven better than your Hell?" the days are too long, and i'm still worthless. can't keep from falling; just collapse and cry. close my eyes and jump on my own. i can stop waiting for my turn to die. We all got somethin' we need to atone for. [This message has been edited by Ethan_Halo (edited 05-03-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ethan Halo - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
this is actually a little heavy for the atmospere tonight... but some critique would be appreciated. just wanted some thoughts on it ya know... thanx! We all got somethin' we need to atone for. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
You know, this really hurts me to read this, after I just posted my poem to parents. You know, I was a teenager not too long ago, and I had no idea then, that my parents were so caught up in their own problems, they failed to see or hear mine. It took me 10 years later, to discover why it was so darn hard to get through those years alone. If I had had just one person to sit down and talk to, it would have been so much easier. I totally understand where you're coming from. How much time do your parents spend, talking with you? I'm just curious, because reading your poem, tells me, not very much. I'm only 27, not too much older than you, but if there's one thing I'm good at, it's listening. Feel free to email me anytime, ok? I'm not online as much anymore, as I'm trying to spend some extra time with my own kids, but I do check my email daily. Take care, and don't give up...it does get easier, I promise. Sincerely, Gen [This message has been edited by poetFemmeFatale (edited 05-02-2000).] |
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kaleidoscope Junior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 38 |
Deep. Deep. I know a thirteen year old who feels the same way. Heartache. Keep writing. Well done. Intriguing reference to playing crap. I like the lines "the bulletholes are the eyes of snakes i see when the dice are rolled." |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
BTW, did I tell you this was good? It is a bit heavy, as you say, but good nonetheless! Keep on writing - it's how I survived the tough times. I was my own best friend, as were my thoughts on paper. Hope to see more from you! Welcome to Passions too! |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
Gen, Thanx for the critique. and i feel that. my poetry seems to be the best way for me to vent. and now i've got a place to share it and get inspired by other folks. i responded to your children one, also. i really dug it. =) We all got somethin' we need to atone for. |
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pen of passion Member
since 1999-08-11
Posts 234 |
Well-written expressions. Yea, there is a light. Been there, keep the faith, someday you'll be penning more light, than heavy. |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Hello Ethan -----this poem is very well written- and a sad eye opener ---- I help so many teens now -- not a day goes by when one doesn't come knocking on my door, -- a hug, advice -- someone to share what they are feeling -- a bit of help with their homework. This body infliction stuff is a dangerous sign that things are not going right -- This venting your pain is very good therapy. You will find many lovely people in here that are willing to lend an ear. Many of us do remember the hormonal nightmares of being a teen -----yet, once you are up and about and out on your own. LIFE has so much worth living for ---- what is it a year and 1/2 more? I know many teens who told me after talking to me --YEP I can do that. I know I can do that now ------and guess what, they did. Some have wives and kids now -- some are in college - some are working and partying big time with their new found freedom And some are volunteering to work with the food bank - helping with the elderly and coaching sports -------So many things in life to look forward to. -- Never give up hope. Who knows you may be a famous writer, a great counselor -- maybe a teacher -- who knows what potential lay ahead in the paths you will choose? Feel free to email me, anytime Hugs from netswan |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Ethan~ You write your emotions well. The tunnel never looks so dark as when you reach the light and look back at where you've been. If your writing is an indication of where you've been ... then I'd say that you've reached the light and can now stand outside the tunnel, looking back and counting your blessings. Walk in the sunshine ... it suits you. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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dreamy_eyes Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 67 |
No matter how heavy your problems get harming yourself doesn't help it just makes matters worse. A problem shared is a problem halved so they say...... Some things need to kept and some things need to be shared. If you need to talk to someone I'm here. E-mail me anytime itdepartmentsccc@ic24.net. Love Deb -x- |
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