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Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

0 posted 2004-01-11 08:56 AM

Look into my heart, deeply to the whole
reflected in your eyes, mirrors of my soul.
Allow me to share this warmth, this glow
feel this heartbeat so that you might know
the depths of this love that I have for you
it beats with strength, steady and true.

If you look closely, you will see
this fire that burns inside of me.
This kiss, this touch will always be for
you, my love, the one that I adore.
In each moment shared a rhapsody plays
only your love can sweep me away.

Together we shall walk the sands of time
our tale of love....etched in rhyme.

It's better than I could have planned..
it's made me who I am...
{Trace Adkins}

Beasley
Senior Member

since 2003-11-28

Posts 682
Cheboygan,MI USA

1 posted 2004-01-11 08:59 AM

Wow! How beautiful!
Barb

ellie LeJeune
Member Elite

since 2000-01-10

Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA

2 posted 2004-01-11 10:57 AM

Breathtaking poem of love! Ellie

A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2004-01-11 10:58 AM

Absolutely beautiful Donna!
Hugs to you lovely lady.

In the midst of winter..
I found there lives within me,
an invincible summer.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

4 posted 2004-01-11 12:53 PM

GentlestSpirit~
Look at you !!!
This is soooooooooooooo lovely~
Soft and sweetly rendered~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
noles1@totcon.com

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

5 posted 2004-01-11 02:28 PM

Indeed this is lovely . In thought and in rendering. Thanks for coming to this corner. Love, Joyce

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

6 posted 2004-01-11 06:23 PM

Thank you all for the kind replies!

River
Senior Member

since 2003-09-16

Posts 627
my own little world

7 posted 2004-01-12 08:43 PM

this is pretty, but honestly this seems cliched... or something... it seems like i've heard this before but in different poems and it doesn't really give me any new vibes or anything, like for instance "If you look closely, you will see this fire that burns inside of me. ... only your love can sweep me away." those lines seem especially familiar and i wonder, if you redid this with different wording it would work better? just a thought...keep them flowing!

- River

Love hurts as bad as it feels good.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

8 posted 2004-01-13 05:59 AM

It is possible that you have read this in open or on another site that I used to visit but I also feel that people (poets especially) often have the same types of thoughts and feelings as others do, they just express them through poetry thus seeming to be even more so cliche. Thanks for stopping in to read and leave your thoughts.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

9 posted 2004-01-17 01:37 PM

Donna, you are right...and this is beautiful

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