2Tankas--Reunite--Warm Memories

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kitkat
Senior Member

since 2000-01-11

Posts 878
Nova Scotia

0 posted 2001-05-14 07:32 PM

I have recently found writing Haikus and Tanks very challenging and rewarding. Here are two I recently composed. Feed Back is welcomed
*********************************

Reunite

eyes filled with raindrops
clouds embracing my being
blurred by departure
covering the window pane
my lips await you return

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warm Memories

radiant sunbeams
warmth engulfing universe
basking in the light
lying beside each other
making treasured memories

--------------
You got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
and show the world all the love in your heart
Then people are gonna treat

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

1 posted 2001-05-14 09:40 PM

These are lovely, kitkat! Very nice! I've never been able to write in that format, so I know how hard it is to be able to do so.

ellie LeJeune
Member Elite

since 2000-01-10

Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA

2 posted 2001-05-15 06:39 AM

Perfectly beautiful....I love to write Tankas too...Ellie

A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails.

Songbird
Member Elite

since 1999-12-15

Posts 2184
Missouri

3 posted 2001-05-15 11:26 AM

You've caught some beautiful moments with the click of your poet's camera.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-05-15 02:22 PM

You did wonderfully on these two beautiful tankas....I enjoyed them greatly.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

kitkat
Senior Member

since 2000-01-11

Posts 878
Nova Scotia

5 posted 2001-05-15 03:38 PM

Thank you for your replies. I really am begining to like Tanka and Haikus.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

6 posted 2001-05-15 07:40 PM

KitKat~
I can see why you like them ...
you do them well.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

kcsgrandma
Senior Member

since 2000-09-24

Posts 1522
Presque Isle, ME

7 posted 2001-05-19 10:48 AM

These are beautiful, kitkat. Your warm memories warm me, and I can feel the longing to reunite. Keep working with this form! It suits you.

To love another person is to see the face of God.
- Les Miserables

Marilyn

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

8 posted 2001-05-25 12:30 PM

well done....you have adhered to a rule which i have always found hard to follow: each line of a haiku/tanka must be a complete thought on its own....

i liked this line "making treasured memories" very much

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