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Open Poetry #8
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2000-06-25 04:35 PM


Heaven's burden,
expectancy--
vapors weighted,
lumbering--
air too thick for shallow lung.
Tension mounting,
thunder's drum
a teasing promise
of release...

I line up candles, trimming wick.

(The birds have flown for cover,
no breeze to lift a wing.
I smell before I feel it--
the first drop always stings...)

Heaven's fury, unfurling.
All my plantings now be damned.
All is gone of gentle nurture.
Nothing now to understand.
No harvest in the sludge, abounding,
in waltz of wind, embracing Thor...
It's better that they die by drowning,
than wither in the sun's cruel scorn.

I light the candles, unconvinced.


© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
redheart angrybraids
Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 410
honolulu, hawaii
1 posted 2000-06-25 05:08 PM


rippless and subtle,
i love this poem.
"the first drop always stings"
i realy liked how you worked that line in there, very cool.



Kindly,
Redheart Angrybraids

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-06-25 05:19 PM


Tension mounting,
thunder's drum
a teasing promise
of release...
I line up candles, trimming wick.

(The birds have flown for cover,
no breeze to lift a wing.
I smell before I feel it--
the first drop always stings...)

Heaven's fury, unfurling.
All my plantings now be damned.
All is gone of gentle nurture.
Nothing now to understand.
No harvest in the sludge, abounding,
in waltz of wind, embracing Thor...
It's better that they die by drowning,
than wither in the sun's cruel scorn.

I light the candles, unconvinced.
-------------------
OH  MAN...
god your so cool!!!  
this poem is just so damn COOL!!
light one of those candles for me,
me-sweet-twin...
I feel a storm coming in meself  
*blowing kisses in the wind ...  
headed south*
me loves ya
me

baby dont you work so hard
for this prize you've found,
it will all be gone-when you turn around,
cause nothing lasts forever anyway.
Rick Roberts

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2000-06-25 05:21 PM


The rain cleanses. . .
But what does it clean?

Excellent poem my friend. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl



Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

4 posted 2000-06-25 08:05 PM


Rain has been on my mind also, and I love this. it's sort of builds you know., to a climax.

You left me, sweet, two legacies,-
a legacy of love
A Heavenly Father would content,
Had He the offer of;
Emily Dickinson

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
5 posted 2000-06-25 08:58 PM


Well done serenity ... I can hear your thunder

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

6 posted 2000-06-25 09:24 PM


WOW !!!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2000-06-25 10:57 PM


Thanks to all, but especially redheart--thanks for your understanding---and most especially, Janet Marie---this was for you--reply to your reply...(None can stop it now)
....but hugs to all...thank you much.

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
8 posted 2000-06-26 12:03 PM


Serenity this is beautiful! And I mean that in the greatest sense of the word!
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

9 posted 2000-06-26 12:45 PM


thank you baby
*winkie winkie*
me face has a big smile
at the thought of me inspiring you
sleep tonite me twin...
think lullaby  
me loves ya
me

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
10 posted 2000-06-26 02:16 AM


Ah yes, me likes this muchly..


babyblue
Junior Member
since 1999-09-16
Posts 12

11 posted 2000-06-26 03:01 AM


A great poem.And I would like to thank you for responding to my poem.I needed to hear someone say they cared.

   Thank you a million times.
         Babyblue

The only hope I have is the hope I've lost.

Ian Llewellyn ap-Griffith
Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 197
Cincinnati, Oh, U.S.A.
12 posted 2000-07-26 07:43 PM


There is nothing more sensuous than the scent of a storm on the rise. What a wonderful experience!

Sing while you may

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
13 posted 2000-07-26 07:58 PM


Stinging gone let the cleansing begin and the seeds of tomorrow rise within the freshly purified depths of the heart.  Love the way you express yourself.
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