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Open Poetry #8
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| Open Poetry #8 |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704
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I’m unlimbed want to shuffle to a sleeping world it’s resilience that opens these eyes lids burrowed through my mess of dreams there I’d watch the crackle of static time thought-freezed It’s not a necessary ideal a function of forever I’m atrophied in current space akin to evolution’s pace I tap the channels of my light sleep seized is easier but awake follows havened night I’m defied there’s a self-amputation of time’s progression and I houred to minutes in cruel largesse am tethered moveless in the interim |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Interesting read.  I enjoyed this. Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau" |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
reservation for one...LOL |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
yep. me too. very well said, Severn. |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Oh I love the words here in this great read, very interesting...well doneTracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Yep. It's official. Time sucks -- so does waiting. I've never been good at either. I'm not qualified to critique freeverse, but I will say that this spoke to me ... which is something I'm not sure whether you should be gratified or worried about!  --Kess YOUR LIFE IS A TEST It is only a test ... If this were your Actual Life, you would have been given better instructions! |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Severn - interesting expression but isn't life grand - to have something to wait for during interim ~netswan |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
WOW... akin to evolution’s pace I tap the channels of my light sleep seized is easier but awake follows havened night Just read this poem twice and still wow... wonderfully written. excellent piece. I really love the last verse. moveless in the interim ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. "Art is a lie which makes us realise the truth." Pablo Picasso "We Irish are too poetical to be poets, we are a nation of brilliant failures" Oscar Wilde ----- |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Severn very interesting, enjoyed reading it |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I’m unlimbed want to shuffle to a sleeping world it’s resilience that opens these eyes lids burrowed through my mess of dreams ------------- hello butterlfy poet... your just so darn good at this free verse which I have never been able to do well love the presentation as well it adds to the slow ache your words convey and convey so well!! love your style take care kind poet jm It's amazing How you make your face just like a wall How you take your heart and turn it off How I turn my head and you lose it all ... And it's unnerving (How one move just puts me by myself) There you go just trusting someone else (Now I know I put us both through hell) ... I'm not sayin That there was nothing wrong (I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me) And I'm not sayin (We ever had the right to hold on) (I just didn't wanna let you get away from me) ~MB20~ She says baby, It's 3AM ... I must be lonely, When she says baby, Well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes, Says the rains gonna wash away I believe it. ~MB20~ |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Well Hello there girl! I opened this and saw your beautiful little face plastered on it, and squealed with glee to finally get to "meet/see" you!  LOL This poem is very interesting in that odd sort of way...free verse kind of goes over my blonde highlights at times, but this one is GOOD. Bravissimo!"Fantasies enrich our lives to the fullest, but true satisfaction comes from creating your own story in the real world! Live out your fantasies & make a storybook with beautiful pictures for the world to enjoy! -poetFemme |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
"tethered"...what a neat perspective here. Add me to the list of those who enjoyed this, please! ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
yeah LK exams had that effect on me as well ..... very good btw SP |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
And of course, though it doesn't fit exactly, the first thing that I thought of was the song "Higher," by Creed. When dreaming I'm guided through another world Time and time again At sunrise I fight to stay asleep 'Cause I don't want to leave the comfort of this place That was my first thought.  But needless to say, this song doesn't even approach your poetic prowess. The lyrics you so dolefully sing here are haunting and yet tinged with a sliver of hope. If there's a goal, it's reachable. there’s a self-amputation of time’s progression Ain't 'at the truth! Another winner K. Wow. C. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
and I houred to minutes in cruel largesse am tethered moveless in the interim ....... Excellent work, my friend, Excellent!!! very impressive, your way with words is excellent...thought-provoking .... Regards, Sudhir |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Temptress - Thankyou!Chris - you know it! Lol. Serenity - why thankyou... Tracie - words are, I feel, tools we can never take for granted, so I try to select carefully...thankyou! Kess - let me think...I think I will take the gratified!!! Lol...thanks, and yep - poo to waiting I say - for anything... netswan - that is true, yet it doesn't make it any easier. Brian - thankyou!! Big Hey Whiskey - nice to hear you! Thanks.Fellow butterly - thankyou my dear... simply lovely things to say. Appreciated... Genn - pah! In freeverse you merely search for a different rhythm...lol. You are anything but blonde hon. ThanksClaire - happy to add and big thanks! Sir P - ohhhhhhhhhhhh...now if you would only actually BE online long enough...hahaa...miss you buddy. C again - That is a nearly perfect echo of what this poem expresses...lol. I intend to make all of my goals reachable - after all, determination is one of my middle names. Thankyou! Sudhir - ta muchly... K< !signature--> ~Sleeping Beauty never knew how lucky she really was~ (Me) [This message has been edited by Severn (edited 06-20-2000).] |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
"sleep seized is easier" it sure is ..I'm off ..lol........... but before i go LK .. just gotta say that this was great ..... off to rescue the french aristocracy ... au revoir ..the scarlet p .. |
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redheart angrybraids Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 410honolulu, hawaii |
another totally beautiful and real way with wwords, i wish i would have started to read sooner, i can totally feel you words. kindly redbraids |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kamla, I think I've been to that place, but I could never have written of it so well...You are the best! |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Look Sir P...what are ya doing my friend??? Hmmm...what's up with the historical fantasy thing? I know...I know...my absence...it does strange things to you... lol I will be back to rescue you soon... and thankyou O dashing one  Redheart - so lovely to find another relater! And thankyou so much... Martie -  wow...thanks hon...don't know what to say to that! Hugs.K~Sleeping Beauty never knew how lucky she really was~ (Me) |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death. Arthur Schopenhauer-German philosopher in "Counsels and Maxims" (1851). Pretty Poem! Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Well, of course it is brilliantly written and filled with meaning but what else would one expect from a STRAIGHT A STUDENT? |
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