My love, forever

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jamesjiao
Member

since 2000-04-12

Posts 268
Backwaters of Avalon

0 posted 2000-07-29 04:50 AM

I could feel the cold in
This bleak room,
Severing my bones and
Full of gloom.

But why was my heart
Feeling so frigid,
When the warmth of your hands
Subsided.

Frozen there you lied
Unaware of my emotion,
No longer could I hide
Deepest of my contrition.

Desperately, I implored
your eyes for forgiveness,
Blankly, came their reply,
So icy and expressionless.

Inside me where you lived,
Where my heart could reach,
I knew you would listen
To my rueful speech.

Rested in your bosom, I
Closed my eyes sensing,
For once, I heard not
your young heart beating.

Our journey, you said,
Never ended here;
And our dream, you said,
Never grew bare.

Tenderly I whispered
I shall never ever
Leave you alone again
And my love, forever.

I have a copy of this poem posted in critical analysis, if you have any suggestions, please don't be hesitatant to post it there, thank you.

- James
The beauty of nature is displayed,
not through itself,
but through the creatures
dwelling within its bosom.

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

1 posted 2000-07-29 05:05 AM

James the emotion pours through this one! Not a beautiful poem, but a really powerful one!

jamesjiao
Member

since 2000-04-12

Posts 268
Backwaters of Avalon

2 posted 2000-07-29 06:10 AM

Thank you marsha, for your lovely comments, no, it's not a beautiful poem, I should admit.. *_^

- James
The beauty of nature is displayed,
not through itself,
but through the creatures
dwelling within its bosom.

Yu Lan
Senior Member

since 2000-04-13

Posts 1462
New Zealand

3 posted 2000-07-29 11:43 PM

Hi James.. posting more frequently now I see! ^_^ Well, this is certainly a strong poem, I would have to agree with that.. I enjoyed reading this.. kinda a chilling poem.. I will comment in the other forum.. k? ^^

Lynne

"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-tsu

jamesjiao
Member

since 2000-04-12

Posts 268
Backwaters of Avalon

4 posted 2004-02-14 03:35 PM

One of my favourite too :p.

MulaTTo
New Member

since 2004-03-27

Posts 9
tempe, az

5 posted 2004-03-28 07:20 PM

hey james i know im late but this poem has alot of meaning to me.. i love it keep it up!

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