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Open Poetry #8
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Life: A Before and After Glance
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Life: A Before and After Glance |
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Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
BEFORE: (September 16, 1968) I remember the day before I was born... The sand castles and azure skies I watched with wide impatient eyes I yearned to lie in seaside grass Blue-green days where lovers pass Envying waves that touched the shore I wanted all the LIFE in store Palmettos swayed and seagulls praised the morn I remember the day before I was born I was one with rain and waterfall With canyon echoes and redwoods tall The moon and sun in celebration September birds in V formation Gazing upon the Earth below So much to feel, so much to know Between Earth and Heaven, untouched, unworn I remember the day before I was born AFTER: April 30, 1994 I remember the day just after I died... A river-town with nectarine skies I watched with tired but patient eyes Relieved I was to shed those bones As new colors replaced earth-tones Flesh it was a familiar bond And yet I craved this world beyond Endless space is as black as it is wide I remember the day just after I died The wind and rain, the graveside mass Dirty headstones and yellow grass The moon and sun in hesitation I rose to join a V formation Gazing upon the Earth below So much was felt, the fear and woe From Purgatory I heard as he cried… “Twenty-five years young and now suicide? Damn you are selfish! What was in your head? (A gun in your mouth to paint the bathroom red) Damn you and your pain, Damn me and my pride!” I remember the day just after I died [This message has been edited by Toddles (edited 07-28-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Todd-Michael Phillips - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Oh Todd how darkly painful to feel so deeply...this is, how can you call it wonderful when it just aches...but wonderful it is my friend. never say never |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Brilliant writing, Todd.... |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
Very nice Todd, it caught me off guard at first lol, my birthday is quite close to that date (1 yr off tho) and when I saw it first I thought it was the same date...ya had me freaked out.  I did like this, suicide is very selfish, and portraying it this way instead of glamourizing it is great! ~H |
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Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
Paula, Once again I want to send you a SINCERE thank you, I enjoy experimenting with new styles and topics. Glad you liked it! Balladeer, Your generous praises have been the ultimate compliment! Thanks again! xAngel, your continued encouragement is something I do not take for granted! Many Thanks! |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
Toddles, This poem brought back some hard memories and feelings from the past.. but that is what good writing does, evoke emotion. I liked it alot. rosepetals25 |
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Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
RosePetals25: Again thank you from the bottom of my heart!!! |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
Todd, another piece of superb work. Juls |
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Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
Juls: Thank you for your continued enthusiasm!!! |
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Tallulah Junior Member
since 2000-07-25
Posts 28 |
Very well constructed and well thought out! Bravo!!! [This message has been edited by Tallulah (edited 07-27-2000).] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
A classic and a masterpiece.... Truly brilliant work, Toddles... regards, sudhir |
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Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
Sudhir: I am truly humbled by you sentiments!!!!!!!! |
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N2Wishin Junior Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 38 |
Nice Work! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
You are indubitably talented, Todd.. Very nice piece of work here..  |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
The title was enticing, but this powerful poem blew me over. I wasn't expecting such an ending. This is an exceptional poem, and I agree with Nan. You are a very talented writer Liz |
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Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
Nan: I confess I had to look up the word INDUBITABLY (Too apparent to be doubted; unquestionable.) is what Dictionary.com says. And having these words come from you means a LOT to me, especially so!!!!! Elizabeth: What an encouraging response & I offer you my sincerest THANKS!!! [This message has been edited by Toddles (edited 07-28-2000).] |
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Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
YES and you too N2Wishin, Thanks & welcome!!! |
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Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
! |
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Tennessee Angel Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661Tennessee |
You must work that muse of yours overtime or something!! You have an amazing talent for writing many different styles and making them all look so easy. I really enjoy reading every one of your posts. --You can either take me as I am...or you can watch me as I go.-- |
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Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
Thank You Tennessee Angel! |
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Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"Damn you and your pain, damn me and my pride." These lines have such an impact within the context of your writing. Excellent writing...James |
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Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
Thank you James! |
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N2Wishin Junior Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 38 |
Almost too painful, but still great! |
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Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
Thanks Again! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Beautiful flow of both thoughts and rhythm Todd ... a wonderful, and thought-provoking read, much enjoyed! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
Kit: Much Appreciated! |
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N2Wishin Junior Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 38 |
Had to come back for another read, even better the second time! |
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Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
aaaahhhhhhhhh Thanx! |
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