navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #8 » Blunt Knife...Happy Ending
Open Poetry #8
Post A Reply Post New Topic Blunt Knife...Happy Ending Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

0 posted 2000-07-26 02:32 AM


Do I reflect a mourner stressed
Mascara stains and tailored dress
Do I reflect a mourner strained
With football scores and addled brain

Do I appear contemplative mind
That’s me in the coffin so be kind
I love the tasteful cut of gown
They chose to face my arms wrist down

Do they know I can hear them bleat
…must pay the bank…what will we eat
I hope the sermons not long winded
Who am I to be offended

Now the line around the casket
Some the horror better mask it
Others run out from this place
The death grin upon my face


© Copyright 2000 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved
Effigy
Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486
disbelief
1 posted 2000-07-26 02:37 AM


I've been waiting for a new poem from you.
And it was well worth the wait. I loved the irony. Great peom. The last line was wonderful.

Just an effigy to be disgraced,
to be defaced.
Your need for me has been replaced.




Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
2 posted 2000-07-26 02:38 AM


OH YUH.....The death grin upon my face that's how I want to go!!  Great work oh sleepless one  
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
3 posted 2000-07-26 06:50 AM


Does make ya wonder if there's any dimension of awareness from the other side, doesn't it?? Interesting work, walt... weird - wayout - and interesting...  
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
4 posted 2000-07-26 07:02 AM


the last line seems the one doing the trick...

but for me the first four line have capture my imagination to the hilt drawing me in, sucking me into the coffin with the air around... and .....

in a few words, very captivating and way too deep...

Excellent work, Walt, my friend,

regards,
sudhir

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

5 posted 2000-07-26 12:41 PM


What a distinctive point of view...good telling, Walt.

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2000-07-26 12:48 PM


wow---walt...you really full of surprises and I don't know why I should find that surprising...grin..like this much..."do they know that I can hear them bleating..."  yep...
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
7 posted 2000-07-26 03:08 PM


thanx all for replyin to this it means alot  
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
8 posted 2000-07-26 03:28 PM


Hey Walt that's one heck of a title and I can't find any reason not to say I'm glad that blunt knife did'nt take you away.
It was great travelling into your future like that all the same.

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
9 posted 2000-07-26 03:55 PM


All I can say is Whoa!!!!!!


Corinne

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
10 posted 2000-07-27 12:02 PM


thanx e and Corinne i thank yuhs muchly
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
11 posted 2000-07-27 02:22 AM


Walt~
What a perspective !
In spite of it all ....
I'm grinning !  


*I sent flowers.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #8 » Blunt Knife...Happy Ending

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary