navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #8 » The Envelope
Open Poetry #8
Post A Reply Post New Topic The Envelope Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2000-07-24 08:33 PM


The Envelope


I found it after years
I saw how it was stamped
with so many colors and words

I saw a piece of tape mending a tear
the paper now thinning…almost transparent
one sticker hanging on by a corner
said love

This envelope was sent
many times across the miles
and now it was ripped and torn
slit with a perfect pointed opener

Return to sender
I saw in bold black letters
no longer at this address I read
I remember once it was perfumed
with a tinge of innocence
and a SWAK in red with blotted pink lips
now it smelled like the dust of old books
in a second hand store

There were flower stamps
and stickers with smiley faces
and on the outside barely visible
worn by time’s ink fade I read
I love you in a child’s tortured print

I found it pressed in a dictionary
one of those big ones from the library
that you can’t move
stationary with the weight of words

Now it is fat and full
it is so heavy with feeling that it falls
and opens on the hardwood floor of time
and all those words
just roll towards me like colored marbles




[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 07-24-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
1 posted 2000-07-24 08:46 PM


Oh, Martie...I'm sitting here and don't know what to say.....other than that is the greatest last line I've ever seen in a poem and I love you for it (don't tell Mr. Martie)

This forum is full of touched people. Everywhere I look I see comments like "this touches me" or "it touched me"....and the only words I can come up with regarding this poem is "This touches me"...because it really does.....beautiful, beautiful writing, wonderful person.

MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715
PA
2 posted 2000-07-24 09:16 PM


Now it is fat and full
it is so heavy with feeling that it falls
and opens on the hardwood floor of time
and all those words
just roll towards me like colored marbles


I agree with Balladeer I  was enjoying the  whole poem but when I reached the ending something inside weeped....

~~softly
Maureen

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
3 posted 2000-07-24 09:24 PM


Martie.....I loved this one all the way
           through, but the last 2 lines
           were the impact point.

             This is wonderful writing!!


Love received is equal to love given!


Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2000-07-24 09:43 PM


Perfect poem.  Loved it.  What an ending!!

LW


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

5 posted 2000-07-24 11:29 PM


What a truly special poem a special person has graced us with.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2000-07-24 11:40 PM


Martie~
So special
So individually you ...
Yes, 'touched' is a good word.

Love you~
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2000-07-25 12:24 PM


Balladeer- Your comment to this poem (can I say touched...yes!) touched me more then any I have ever received...it was so honest...and I love you for it.

Maureen--I guess those last lines brought out the weeps...It was supposed to.  Thank you!

Sunny--Thank you so much for your wonderful comment.

Lone Wolf--You have paid me three great compliments...thank you

Mike--I am so glad to see you here...I've missed you.  Your comments are always so important to me.  Thank you!

Marge--Touched IS a good word...you should know.  Love you!

ma miller
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806

8 posted 2000-07-25 12:32 PM


a glorious piece, Martie ... loved it ...

fav ...

it is so heavy with feeling that it falls
and opens on the hardwood floor of time

thanks

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2000-07-25 10:04 AM


MA--Thank you for the glorious in your reply and thank you for reading.
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
10 posted 2000-07-25 10:11 AM


Ah so lovely....

This piece just shines through brightly...

regards to you Martie,
Sudhir

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
11 posted 2000-07-25 10:20 AM


Martie,
So many feelings roll out of your words, I feel as though I have touched that envelope. At least my heart has. Your writing is extraordinary.
liz

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
12 posted 2000-07-25 11:14 AM


Martie this has the essense of bittersweet sans lachrymose.....and to think... we think kids know nothing... seemed like we knew more back then... well said
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
13 posted 2000-07-25 12:15 PM


Thank Sudhir for your lovely reply.

Liz--You have touched the envelope.

Rebel--the tears are the learning tool where youth finds wisdom.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
14 posted 2000-07-25 12:24 PM


Martie I have to agree with all the rest that this is superb writing. What captivating mood throughout and that last verse oh that last verse...I can't find the words..I just can't

PS Why is'nt this a book submission?

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

15 posted 2000-07-25 12:29 PM


Beautiful Martie...just beautiful.


~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
16 posted 2000-07-25 12:29 PM


Written with perfection as only you can do.  Your style and imagery never ceases to amaze me and the precise ways you get your words to fit is a sheer delight.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

17 posted 2000-07-25 12:38 PM


and on the outside barely visible
worn by time’s ink fade I read
I love you in a child’s tortured print

I found it pressed in a dictionary
one of those big ones from the library
that you can’t move
stationary with the weight of words

Now it is fat and full
it is so heavy with feeling that it falls
and opens on the hardwood floor of time
and all those words
just roll towards me like colored marbles

======================

sweet poet...your words are like colored marbles...
or more appropriatly might be
like rare and fine jewels..
shimmering gem stones
this poem proves my point
later 14k-gator
jm

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
18 posted 2000-07-25 03:00 PM


ethome--You found the words just fine...thanks for thinking book submission, but I already heave quite a few.

Claire--thanks for the beautiful.

Mark--What a wonderful compliment...thank you!

juliet_2u
Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125
North Carolina
19 posted 2000-07-25 03:35 PM


Martie, I could see that time weathered envelope in my mind so clearly, What a gift you shared with us.   Juls
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
20 posted 2000-07-25 03:42 PM


Sorry Janet, my sweet friend, didn't see you..thanks for the jewels...and for your sparkle.

juls--I'm so glad you liked it...thank you.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #8 » The Envelope

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary