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Open Poetry #8
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ma miller
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806


0 posted 2000-07-24 02:59 PM


the sands of when ...

when sand castles wilt tenderly away
oceans weep their salty tears
never the intent to call harm's way
the helpless sea controls no fears

a fortress built to stand the test
only to return to the million grains
reaching fingers of water infests
sprawling canals destroys in veins

start the falling upon itself
a slow decay drops walls of grit
swallowed up by a gushing wealth
of water's flushing deepened pit

smoothing shore bids retreating tide
a fare thee well and a return again
return when sand castles do reside
to cry a tear for the sands of when


M.A. Miller
07.24.00
< !signature-->

My calling before me, let quill be my offering;
For to be called poet, no greater gift to receive.

M.A.



[This message has been edited by MA Miller (edited 07-24-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 ma miller - All Rights Reserved
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
1 posted 2000-07-24 03:01 PM


smoothing shore bids retreating tide
a fare thee well and a return again
return when sand castles do reside
to cry a tear for the sands of when
.....
What lines...

What a poem!!!

Amazed and dazed, I applaud this one...

regards to you MA Miller,
sudhir


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2000-07-24 03:04 PM


This is exceptional mark, I loved the imagery here....sands of time, and an ocean of regret no less...aching...
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
3 posted 2000-07-24 03:33 PM


I love the water and this poem just SPEAKS to me...

never say never

Gossamerwings
Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 207

4 posted 2000-07-24 03:34 PM


Great writing here.
I much enjoyed the read!

Keep on doing it.  


Gossamerwings ;)

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2000-07-24 03:35 PM


Oh, this is splendid...

Sunny

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~

When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
6 posted 2000-07-24 03:41 PM


Wonderfully descriptive MA!  Your imagery is superb in this beautiful verse!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

ma miller
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806

7 posted 2000-07-24 09:23 PM


of all my posts so far to Passions, this is the one i least expected to get much of a reaction out of ... a rather simple theme, but serenity hit the nail on the head ... it's really about time slipping away as much as about literal sand castles ... thank you all so much for taking time to read ...
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
8 posted 2004-05-23 10:21 PM


beautiful and sad
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