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Open Poetry #8
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It Is Not Our Time
| Open Poetry #8 |
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It Is Not Our Time |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704
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My head bowed against glass I rush through streets and corners hurtle around me it is not our time my eyes in closed lids turn to a dreaming place and I forget the wheels the lights, and sky the world moving our song will sing another day we chased love forevered to a bond like children for leaves after concrete the nature in us one-seeking my prophetess exhales to me it’s distanced now this merging mountained away and the hush of night traveling is louder than your voice in memory while dreamed I hear her and she is garlanded purple and white vined otherworlded and I am journeying to another space as she breathes ‘Loss...loss’ it is for you and I have known long before we realised the death of our dreamings it is not our time 24.7.00 |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wow. This is perfection.  |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kamla~ How descriptive your thoughts ... 'I rush through streets and corners hurtle around me' Oh, it moves through my mind ... '‘Loss...loss’ it is for you and I have known long before we realised the death of our dreamings 'it is not our time' Applauding here, my little poet friend. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This spoke for me...it read like musings when I walk sometimes...love your style, too. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
we chased love forevered to a bond like children for leaves after concrete the nature in us one-seeking my prophetess exhales to me it’s distanced now this merging mountained away and the hush of night traveling is louder than your voice in memory while dreamed I hear her and she is garlanded purple and white vined otherworlded and I am journeying to another space as she breathes WOW breath taking, amazing piece, just wow. "A frog, it cannot comprehend the sea Nor me happiness" Paul Draper-Mansun |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Now this is what poetry is all about. This is a wonderful piece.  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kamla--like leaves down the sidewalk of your mind.....you just blow me away! |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
what a great line..."our song will sing another day" speaks of loss yet dreams of hope never say never |
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Portia Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157 |
I liked this so well. I especially liked the in between lines: it is not our time our song will sing another day my prophetess exhales to me while dreamed I hear her ‘Loss...loss’ it is not our time This could have stood alone as a poem. Also, "and she is garlanded purple and white vined otherworlded" This puts me in mind of a goddess of pleasure and wine, a female Dionysus (I don't know if such a goddess exists but if she did, you just perfected her). Lovely. [This message has been edited by Portia (edited 07-23-2000).] |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Oh Kamla....you make it so real, you bring it to life!!! You never cease to amaze me hon. I loved it!and she is garlanded purple and white vined otherworlded Beautiful!! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You got the old Balladeer with this one, dear Kamla. This is perfection on paper. Whatever they say in New Zealand which would correspond to the American word "WOW!"..well, that's my feelings about this poem |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Head bowed into my hands I thought long upon the heartspoken words Then said I-- How very eloquently you lay down your dream to rest; though in leaving I wonder if it was more a matter of place,,,,than time.... Simply Beautiful Kamlee....  Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
A smile then, for time shall never stand still. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
sigh sniff yuh emotional peice here calmla liked it lots tho "Amadeus Amadeus. Amadeus. Amadeus Amadeus. Amadeus. Am Am Amadeus. Come on and rock me Amadeus!"-Falco "don't even lissen to classical music!"-me |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Lady K you are right, for time is not a dimension a place or a thing. It is but a subjective state - a feeling - and when minds intersect then will be "your time" ... as a little known villanelle writer once said: "Resist the tempting lilt of time's long blast, Awake from ether years that tick away, No now, no then, no later and no last." what will be will be, years don't matter - dreams do.... pretty special poem m'Lady... SP |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Just wonderful my friend. . . superb. . . ----------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Amazement is but a sheer feeling... Mesmerised is a brilliant effect... Wonder is still a happening When all these three join up, they become properties of this poetry from Kamla... regards, sudhir |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
Truly breathtaking |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
library thing hon.... |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
My oh my this is breathtakingly stunning... I was touched by the expression you've penned here and I thank you PoetFriend for a most enjoyed read... *~coco~* |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
Not our time...could not have written it better! |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Wow - this moved me! This is one of your best Melissa~ |
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