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Open Poetry #8
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The Tellings (now a book submission)
| Open Poetry #8 |
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The Tellings (now a book submission) |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
The TellingsWhen only a girl in my Grandmother's keep of an evening when all chores were finished in the dimness of night but before time to sleep when the Earth's living light had diminished As lamplight glowed amber upon the old walls Grandmother would take to her tellings white hands working knots beneath her black shawl in a voice that transformed our dark dwelling 'Twas seldom one night like another for me for each tale cast its spell in my mind as Grandmother's words wove their rich tapestry and each telling left magic behind But there happened a night that I cannot forget as though it transpired just today as, finding my place at my Grandmother's feet, she commenced to her telling this way ... And now as the night makes its whispers and shadows share shades of the past the story is told of sweet Helen and the mourning that moonlight outlasts Sweet Helen arrived here from somewhere just a babe wrapped in burgundy lace and though searches were made for her mother soon young Helen belonged to this place As she grew from a child to a woman she remained to herself, slight and frail She often was seen near the river Lovely vision, though haunted and pale A strand, no wider than breathing, lay gold at her fair fragrant nape and a simple brocade dark as charcoal was the fabric she wore for her cape Her hair was pure gossamer garland and her eyes were the shiniest stones and her skin was as white as the face of the moon Yes, the moorlands became Helen's home And though Helen inspired many suitors their attentions secured no success for the maiden wished not for a husband nor dreamt of a soft wedding dress She courted, instead, the luminous moon as it shone on her shoulders of white and lighted her way through the brambles 'long the trails that she tread through the night And it came to be known that our Helen heard her mother's sad voice as she roamed and would turn of a sudden, to windward, as if hearing it calling her home As the story grew tragic for Helen and my Grandmother's voice carried on with the dark pressing cool 'gainst my eyelids soon my journey toward sleep had begun I awoke from my dreaming of Helen to the bathing of summertime light and lifting my head from my Grandmother's lap it was clear we had slept through the night With the stiffness and slurring of slumber I arose to help Grandmother wake but her eyes shining dull in the daylight told the tale now to make my heart break And as the black of her shawl parted slightly from my sobbing and sorrowed embrace in her lifeless white hand clutched beneath it was a small bunch of burgundy lace [This message has been edited by Meadowmuse (edited 07-21-2000).] |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Meadowmuse~ this is gripping, powerful, and sad. You touched me with this.  -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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ma miller Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806 |
more than a poem, meadowmuse ... this is a legacy ... pass this one down to generations to come ... well thought out and beautiful ... |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
WOW.... love this... love it. Shaking head cause I can't find the words. Your writing flows effortlessly. K |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Meadow, You best ever, I bow to your talent. *L* |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
A poem so sad I never read before A tear fell softly You have done well, so very well I can't express I cannot tell The way your words align each sentence is amazing. The way your words brought back memories of my grandmother Thank You The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Claire--I read this outloud to my husband and we were both so touched, and he thought of his much loved grandmother and I felt the poem on the goosebumps on my arms...Just beautiful! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Claire~ I've read and enjoyed everything you've ever posted here .... this one goes beyond ... it is by far the lovliest of the lovely. My own wonderful great grandmother walked through my memory. I've already printed it out ... I've read it six times ... the only thing that would please me more - would be able to vote for it as a submission to the book. I do hope you'll consider it. Claire, it's so lovely. You've painted it with the brush of love. Please ... submit it. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Claire, you have touched my heart with this tale. . . as for others, it reminded me of my own Grandmother. . . Just wonderful, my friend. . . (back to vote!! Excellent!!) --------------------------------------------------------< !signature--> That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl [This message has been edited by Sven (edited 07-21-2000).] |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
you made me think of my grandma...something I have avoided doing because I couldnt come home when she died. never say never |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
just a beautiful loving tale...you write with tenderness and charm ~~softly Maureen |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
This is truely wonderful Claire ... such a beautiful subject to have chosen for a poem ... and as always you present it with the skill of a master ... I recall the 'tellings' from my childhood days ... not merely from my grandmother but from others as well ... to us children it was far more desirable to listen to their stories than to watch television ... I best stop rambling here thankyou for posting this Rex |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is so delicately told and beautiful...the construction is flawless claire, Please submit this one...I am another who promises a vote. |
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Jaysun C Member
since 2000-07-20
Posts 56 |
my g-mom just went away makes it hard sorry thank you |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
unbelievable how you just reached into my soul and planted a fable so warm and tender..beautiful work..im awe struck! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Claire this poem is a gift from the poetry gods.. it is stunningly exceptional... absolutely perfect in its grace and wisdom... as the person above said... you have written a legacy here... superb, amazing work, truly... if you do decide to submit..i will be back... take care sweet poet jm There are places inside our souls - that have never been touched. There are places inside our hearts - that need to be loved this much. ~jm~ |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
SEA, MA Miller, Severn, Seymour, Helmut, Martie, Marge, Sven, Paula, Maureen, Rex, serenity, Jasun, poutprincess, Janet Marie ~ Each of you has shown such kindness in your response to this piece, and I thank you, in earnest, for taking time to not only read it (I was concerned about the length) but to have left such encouraging messages for me. In light of your responses, I have decided to submit it for consideration in the Passions book. Thank you all, sincerely. ~ Claire |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
vote}>{{{{o> |
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ma miller Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806 |
you have my vote!!! ... :~) |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
coming back to vote |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Meadowmuse, How wonderful you have written this work. I am so deeply touched, as it brings back so many memories. I pray that this does make the book. |
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JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
Wow!!! This is excellent!!! You have my vote for sure, such a powerful story....Tears welled in my eyes...thank you for this excellent post!!!< !signature--> Julie [This message has been edited by JulieAnn (edited 07-21-2000).] |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
back to vote! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Claire~ YES ! ! ! So pleased ... it is truly lovely. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
As promised, back with ballot....thank you Claire.....lovely, lovely, once again..... |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Beautiful... voted. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
a work of art could never be too long  CLICK *smile* |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I agree, Claire, this is your best ever! Denise |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hows about a vote...  K |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Meadowmuse~ I'm so glad you put this in for the book! Now I can VOTE!!!! -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
That's better L & S P Vote Here  The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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Fred Hobbs Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329Tallahassee, Florida, US |
Meadowmuse, This is a great work in every aspect. Proud to vote for it. fh |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
This is superb writing! It is so intricately woven in to the heart strings with the strength of a new moon song calling to the past in an ode to your Grandmother. Got my vote for sure. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Rex, MA Miller, Martie, Bill, JulieAnn, poutprincess, Marge, serenity, Mike, Janet Marie, Denise, Kamla, SEA, Helmut, Fred, ethome ~ Whew! Thank you folks so much. I am overwhelmed by your wonderful, kind show of support for this piece. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
This is one of the most beautiful poems that I have read here and it for sure gets my vote. Loved this in all it's entireity. |
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Michael Auguste Junior Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 12USA |
Claire, This is now my favorite of all your poems. It's truly beautiful work. Well done, my friend. Michael |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Mark, such kind words from you today...thank you sincerely. Michael, your enthusiastic encouragement helped me along with this one, my friend. You know how pleased I am that you enjoy it. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Meadowmuse, this is INCREDIBLE...I am most definitely voting! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
An honor to vote for this one, Claire.... |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
Absolutely amazing, such a beautifully written, heartwrenching piece. This is simply incredible. Bonnie |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Krista, Balladeer, Bonnie ~ Thank you all for reading and letting me know you enjoyed this one. I've decided to ask Jean Ritchie what she thinks about putting some music to it, as I think it might make a nice folk/traditional style storysong. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Well, lookie here ! BUMP ! ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A pleasure to read and ponder...James |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Marge, thank you, my friend, for going "bump" in the night. Very sweet. James, I'm glad you enjoyed your "pondering" here. Thank you for reading. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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