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Open Poetry #8
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sensual senyru collection (first attempt)
| Open Poetry #8 |
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sensual senyru collection (first attempt) |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
since it seems me moody muse is out to lunch again I thought I would try some of these little gems that so many of you have been doing of late... this is my first try -- so please -- anyone tell me if the are wrong or how to improve. If I'm going to play with poetry I wish to do it correctly  thanks to Nan and the workshop for the lesson on Haiku, Senyru, and Tanka *** /pip/Forum22/HTML/000057.html I chose to try the abreviated version of senyru which is 3-5-3 ~sensual senyru~ lust and need passion and desire moth to flame ~*~ eyes connect temptation of ache sigh on sigh ~*~ lips brush cheek anticipation whispered love ~*~ mouth on neck kisses down bare spine surrender ~*~ breath on breath hearts and souls entwine ecstasy ~*~ ******************* 5-7-5 ~*~ poetic winds blow whispers softly to my heart reflects in my tears ~*~ [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 07-19-2000).] |
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Michael G Senior Member
since 2000-06-25
Posts 579Nashville |
First attempt?!?! My spine is tingling, think i need a shower, cold! What great words JM!! Makes my day!!!! See ya |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
STAND BACK...........I will attempt a triple flip for these little beauties!!!! Wowsers girl......your first eh??? I'm not so sure about that You have a flair...thetopic of course helps to make the "attempt" alot easier...lol **ducking** These are GEMS!!! Wonderful...beautiful... and oh yes..... SENSUAL!!!!......playing in the fire Love ya SS!! BDC [This message has been edited by Butterflies_dont_cry (edited 07-19-2000).] |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
You have done this before.  WOW Standing ovation that was stunning, again you have stolen my breath. why must we pray screaming? why must not death be redefined? we shut our eyes we stretch out our arms and whirl on a pane of glass-patti smith [This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 07-19-2000).] |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Janet Marie.... I wasn't familiar with Senyru until just now, but it's wonder- ful. Read and read.. I want to read more.. Write and write.. (Yours is much more sensual!!!) ~~~~~Live for Today~~~~~ taste every single moment |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I can't promise cartwheels lovie, but my oh my...things heating up at passions again? Must be the season of the "itch"...lol Great work here, m'twin...just makes me say mmmm....or is that aaaahhhhh? |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Hmmmmm...let's see; heart racing, palms sweaty, hands trembling, stuttering to myself, and total anxiety. I know that I have eaten so I wonder what this is.  As if it wasn't hot enough here in TX already! Great first attempt. Loved your work. Please contact my doctor before your second attempt.  |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Janet~ WOW,WOW,WOW!!!! These are awesome! Lov'em! -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
JanetMarie~ These all follow the perfect pattern of Senyru ... Flowing into each other to make a beautiful continuity of thought. Excellent job, my friend. LOL @you ...  Always saying you were too 'gabby' ... and THEN picking the 'abbreviated' format ! Well, I think my leg is longer now ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I don't know much about these things Janet but I thought the implication overtones were wonderful.....Thank God you're such a trooper keep the spirit up and write on! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Wow JM, very sensual indeed, Loved it! woohooo!! and the Haiku.. Beautiful! Excellent work |
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ma miller Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806 |
jm's got a new muse (j/k) ... nice work here ... inspires one to give it a try ... odd that 3-5-3 syllables scars the hell out of me ... thanks jm. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
These are beautiful Janet and a perfect explanation of the title. |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
You girl girl!!! This is an awesome first attempt. Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
JM, YOU ROCK GIRL!!!! These were excellent senyru. So sensual . . . just perfect. LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
wow you guys are so good for my poetic confidence...such sweet cheerleaders Michael ...tingling is good!!!lol your reply makes my day...Thank you my friend actually i should thank you twice ... it was your senyru that made me want to learn more and try...so TY again Butterfly ...LOL can I see that backflip again ...and you better duck...dont encourage me...I'm already walking on hot coals LOL...TY my sweet SS Bri ... you always give me too much credit TY my sweet friend...but I'm always happy to take your breath away Sunny ...im so pleased you learned about them too...thats the gift of this special place..we find inspiration to try new things..and there is always a helping hand to teach us with the worshop forums ***TY again to Nan and Ron, and the moderators and ALL who give their time here to teach and guide us.*** Sen ...hey me twin...you scratch my itch.. I'll scratch yours mmm mmm mmm is just fine LOL *winkie winkie*Mark .. LOL..you make me smile my sweet friend...I dont know what could be wrong with you???? maybe it was something you ate LOL...it seems to be heating up here in St.Lou too...poeticly speaking ... and BTW ..your doc says your just fine...TY Sea ...TY for such an enthusiastic read and reply..(your new poem is so great) Margie ... thank you for letting me know these were on the right track and BYW...you DO look taller today LOL yes..gabby-gator decided to make it a real challenge while trying to learn something new...I'm sure one of my next poems will be an epic to make up for it LOL TY margie-girl Ethome ...TY for your "always knowing" replies, my kind friend...my muse thanks you too (where ever she is) lol DA...TY for the WOOHOOS LOL...I love your enthusiasm MA...thank you for allowing me to inspire you yes they scared me at first too lol... I look forward to your efforts if ya decide to try. Martie .. thank you my sweet poetice friend. Marina ...thanks my gator-girl...wanna try one do a vamp trilogy LOLLW ...you rock too TY girlie girl THANK YOU all for such fun and sweet replies [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 07-20-2000).] |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
So Janet you are going to try one of these little gems....do we get a chance to try one of them also, I'll try mouth on neck..kisses down bare spine...surrender"...I wonder if this really works.. A little later...well it does work but not exactly as you planed...it went like this..."Mouth on neck..kisses down bare spine....party time...thanks for the ideas...ha...ha...James |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Abandoned Muse on holiday Never mind Trying hard Determined spirit Your gems ROCK! |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
APPLAUSE APPLAUSE APPLAUSE never say never |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
A moody muse Janet Marie? She's sheer perfection I say!!! Absolutely wonderful treasures JM ... each and every one! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Janet and Senyru Its natural to your pen Just like young lovers... Janet, you did these so well. I do them when I can't write other forms, they free my mind by not worrying about tons of verse. Please do more. In multiples please. Parker |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
This was beautiful, I think I'll have to try. Wow! I will *attempt* to follow in your footsteps but it will be a tough act to follow! great work girl!!!! ~Heather |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
be right back taking a shower all alone  [This message has been edited by Rex Allen McCoy (edited 07-23-2000).] |
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