Open Poetry #8 |
More Than Angels |
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Angeled skin you lie there caught in my eye and I paint word portraits you’ve made your niche inside me I am surprised I’ve seen hands before but few have touched my shelter you its in the words easy-spoken and gentled eyes Have you seen your own dance here forced around? Hoped for needed I denied you are my private flood I am unstemmed match met and made you hold your life over me with more lift and skin than angels I’m graced [This message has been edited by Severn (edited 07-19-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
you its in the words easy-spoken and gentled eyes Have you seen your own dance here forced around? Hoped for needed I denied you are my private flood I am unstemmed match met and made you hold your life over me with more lift and skin than angels I’m graced This is simply beautiful and a pleasure to read at this hour in the a.m. Great write. |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
I must echo Marks comments on this one |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kamla~ What a joy to see this little peek of your grace unfolding ... 'I’ve seen hands before but few have touched my shelter' Love the fluid thoughts. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
SB, this is absolutely gorgeous!! so beautifully written as always. |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Soft, flowing and graceful. Beautiful work~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
I’ve seen hands before but few have touched my shelter I just love this....(there are your dots) You just have a way of seeing under the skin of things. You are unique! I'm so glad! PS--I'd love to write a poem with you! |
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ma miller Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806 |
Severn, awesome tone and appearance to this work ... love it ... more please ... |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
one day i will soon maybe soonest this style intrigues interest piqued pride also in you one day you know I will lol---this is such fun, and would be even more so if i had your "craftability"---hehe (just for you-- i know how your made up words go over..)< !signature--> Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". [This message has been edited by Prometheus (edited 07-21-2000).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
my my my this is just simply perfection of poetry my butterfly slipper reflection your presentation shows off the grace of this gem... and the subtle sensuality of it is perfect as well wonderful writing Kam, jm There are places inside our souls - that have never been touched. There are places inside our hearts - that need to be loved this much. ~jm~ |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Wonderous never say never |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
severn good to see yur happy tones in this one o yuh hope its not fantasy writing ...good happiness for all and yuh! "Amadeus Amadeus. Amadeus. Amadeus Amadeus. Amadeus. Am Am Amadeus. Come on and rock me Amadeus!"-Falco "don't even lissen to classical music!"-me |
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Portia Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157 |
This is so, so very good. *Good* as in, publishable good. Quarterly journal kind of good. Such strong emotions conveyed here. It puts me in mind of complete, utter obsession, absolute *consumption* of someone, but the angel metaphor puts such a peaceful calm over it, and it is beautiful. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Excellent writing Kamla! I just loved the unique flow in this poem ... exceptional verse indeed! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
LK BRILLIANT for now SP [This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 07-21-2000).] |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Perfect Again Liz |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Oooohh...K Me like, me like especially: I am unstemmed match met and made you hold your life over me with more lift and skin than angels I’m graced This is lovely miss, simply lovely. N |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Mark - Thankyou...it is amazing I find how certain poetry can effect you at certain hours of the morning! LOL... (not that I am up reading poetry late at night - oh no...not I... ) Jeffrey - then I will echo to you my thanks to Mark! Marge(y) - thanks hon! Fluid - that is such a complimentary word - it really honours me... AoL - hush you...hehe...couldn't get a non biased opinion out of you even if I asked - rotf! No, sincerely - thankyou my sweet friend. BDC - thankyou for gracing me with your reply. Martie - ..... ..... I know, I know - I am terrible - moving house, starting uni - excuses excuses - we WILL get there soon! ~K slaps head~ And thanks hon... MA Miller - ~blush~ I will try to oblige - lol...thankyou... J - and that one day was kind of yesterday - but don't worry - it will be complete...lol...and love those smilies hey? Here is an for you and an thankyou my friend... JM - don't know if I have ever taken the time to tell you just how wonderful your replies are my fellow butterflied one...it seems like you put lots of time into them - and I just thought you should know I appreciate it. So thanks Paula - why thankyou...that is quite a compliment. Li'l bro - yuh and all ok? Portia - your faith in my writing...wow...what can I say? Thanks I imagine, but I don't know if that conveys how much this amazes me...hugs Kit - thankyou so much.... SP - hehehehheeeee....remember what I know...lol - thanks dear one. Lizzy - now that word is too much...wow. Shaking head that you could see it this way. Thankyou. Nic - hon, thanks for stopping by! And thanks for your lovely words!! K |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
YOU'RE graced???? Whoever you wrote this poem for is graced.......which I'm sure must be me! Thank you, wonderful Kamla |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Look 'deer - how many times have I told you we just can't reveal ourselves on here??? The world is simply not ready for us...sigh...too late now.. lol thankyou muchly my friend, hugs K |
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