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Romy
Senior Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida

0 posted 2000-07-14 01:15 PM

She
She traded away her youthful years of beauty and freedom, so
She could build with him a castle, sunny and bright.
She learned how to cook and iron his clothes,
She waited up for him to come home.
She put on the special cologne that
She knew he had always fancied,
She combed her hair and
She dried her tears,
She loved him.
She waited.

ma miller
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 806

1 posted 2000-07-14 01:41 PM

Very creative and alluring ... Took some work, I bet ... Great style ... thanks

My calling before me, let quill be my offering;
For to be called poet, no greater gift to receive.

M.A.M.

Cuddlez
Member

since 1999-11-27

Posts 422
Walla Walla, WA 99362

2 posted 2000-07-14 03:50 PM

OOHHH, awesome.. Reminds me of the country song
"You dont even know who I am, you left me a long time ago, you dont even know who I am. Why do you care if I go?"
Very neat setup too... Add a little more, and you have an awesome song...

Time flies? Say it not so, time stays we go.

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant

since 2000-07-06

Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England

3 posted 2000-07-14 04:27 PM

Debbie........

     Not only is this a great poem, but the
  layout is ingenious......you are an artist!

           It's much admired
                     and enjoyed!!!!

My heart is an open book
....take a look....

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

4 posted 2000-07-14 04:30 PM

Wonderful read and of course the form is outstanding to say the least. Had to take some thought for both the content and the style. Loved it.

Romy
Senior Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida

5 posted 2000-07-15 06:03 AM

Thanks to everybody who commented! I've never written a poem in this type of format before. you're right, it was definitely a challenge, but fun to try!
Debbie

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

6 posted 2000-07-15 06:08 AM

Debbie~
A delightful presentation of your thoughts.
Enjoyed it muchly.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

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