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Open Poetry #8
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controller of the walls
| Open Poetry #8 |
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controller of the walls |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209
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i started to explain not that i see a need to but rules are rules i... i ..was..only... and right there i was stopped no use trying to scale the brick wall of your Screaming Silence your eyes drill right through me as if i don’t matter You Are Out Of Order I did Not Grant Permission for This and your eyes take on a look of disgust Freedom Who... Do... you... Think you are? it will not be tolerated period blank eyes stare into the steely silence that will be the sentence until or if i choose to return to Order Partnership dismissed Control reigns silent the wall stands Soberly sovereign [This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 07-13-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Oh yeah...I've been in that courtroom too...excellent portrayal of the scene for me...thank you. |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
thanks serenity, i know this is all too real for me, but i didn't know if i made it so anyone else could feel it too...thanks for the confirmation  |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Yanno, Corazon - If you were a guy, I'd think you had just been rebuked! lol - You've done a great job of using structure to add more than just words to this poem. I could feel the hostility and sense the timing of the words. Great job! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
"no use trying to scale the brick wall of your Screaming Silence your eyes drill right through me as if i don’t matter You Are Out Of Order I did Not Grant Permission for This" let me ask you this, corazon.... how well do you know my ex-husband?????? ROFL... hehe Damn, girl! This poem rocks! This is one hard hitter and again, i'm telling you.... when i read your words, it's like looking in a mirror.... this is haunting verse filled with honesty, anger and bitterness..... but leaving a final tone that things will be resolved and everything will be ok soon.... Thanks for a great read! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Corazon looks like you are stuck with another one of those controlling, manipulating, aggravating, irritating kind of men...or are you? James |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
Long john nice of you to comment on the form, I really wasn't sure about it, but i guess it turned out ok...thanks sailor friend doreen yep girl, ours are 2 of a kind.....thanks lots jmlee...thanks...and yeppers to that stuck thing.....am working on it |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Yes Corazon, excellent presentation, I never manage to get these nice ideas... regards, sudhir... by the way CONGRATS FOR THE 1000 reached quite quietly.... and check out the announcements... |
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