Open Poetry #8 |
What Did You See? |
John Yaws Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 860Texas |
I caught your eye as I walked in the door. It seemed you were staring at me. And I had to wonder as you looked away, I wonder, oh, what did she see? You saw a big man, one no longer young. His dark hair now well streaked with gray. The scars and the wrinkles, those lines in his face, They all have a whole lot to say. The faded blue denims, and worn Ranger belt- The boots, and the limp, and the hat… You saw an old cowboy, an ex-hardcase, too, And you wanted no part of that. You saw the wariness in tired, brown eyes- A hard set on his thin lipped mouth… A man of the West, that much plainly shows, The drawl has a hint of the South. But did you see all the hurt deep inside? The loneliness aching within? And did you see, all that strong, rebel pride… That lies just beneath weathered skin? And did you see, that glimmer of hope? That flickered when you looked at me? And died at it’s birth, when you looked away- Oh, tell me, girl, what did you see? Visit My Home Page http://www.geocities.com/montcogunslinger/Traveler.html |
||
© Copyright 2000 John R. Yaws - All Rights Reserved | |||
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Does anyone ever see the real person that we are on the inside? Or do most just casually glance our way and make quick (and wrong) assumptions? I don't know. I only know what I do. Sometimes I try to imagine the life someone has lived and how they wound up crossing my path at a particular moment in time and wonder if we'll ever cross paths again (sometimes my mind wanders...hehehe). Sometimes I just close everything and everyone out of my mind and even though I may appear to be 'looking', I'm really 'zoning'. I like to believe that most folks are just as average as me and look for the best in everyone that they meet! Well, all that to say...Another wonderful poem, John! Denise |
||
MagnoliaBlue Member
since 2000-05-12
Posts 367 |
HEY GUNSLINGER, IF I MAY..... I caught your eye as YOU walked in the door. It seemed you were staring at me. And I had to wonder as you looked away, WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT TALKING TO ME? You saw a WOMAN WITH LONG BROWN HAIR LIGHTLY streaked with gray. The LIGHT GREEN EYES, THE SMILE ROUND HER LIPS They all have a whole lot to say. The TIGHT blue denims, and THE worn LEATHER belt- The boots, and the limp, and the hat… You saw a TRUE LADY, AN old SOFTY AT HEART, And you wanted TO BE A part of that. You saw the SECRETS in tired, GREEN eyes- A SOFT set TO HER FULL lipped mouth… A WOMAN of the West, that much plainly shows, The SLIGHT drawl has a hint of the South. But did you see all the hurt deep inside? The loneliness aching within? And did you see, all that SWEET, rebel pride… That lies just beneath THE SOFT skin? And did you see that glimmer of hope? That flickered when you looked at me? And died at its birth, when you looked away- Oh, tell me, ‘SLINGER, what did you see? EXCUSE ME FOR THE LIBERTIES HERE, GUNSLINGER, BUT I COULDN’T RESIST. I LIKE YOUR POEM (YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT I COMPARE YOU TO ‘~BLACK, THE COWBOY POET~’ BUT I WOULD LIKE TO SAY YOUR POEMS OF LATE HAVE BEEN VERY SAD AND LONELY AND I AM SORRY ABOUT THAT. I FEEL YOUR PAIN AND HOPE IT ALL GETS BETTER SOON. LOTS OF LUCK AND HUGS AND KEEP WRITING. MAGNOLIABLUE (EXCUSE ALL THE CAPS…BUT IT WAS EASIER THIS WAY!) ~My Skipper Jim I love you! Your Lady June~ |
||
John Yaws Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 860Texas |
Thank you, Denise, and you too, MB. I loved the re-write. |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |