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Open Poetry #8
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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2000-07-10 03:37 PM


             She came

Out of the mist of time she came
Without a notice without a name.
And I could not preform the gist
Nor explain the beginnings mist.

She showered me with wanton need
Those things I thought were black of deed.
Stirred my cauldron fired up jewels
Defied the gods of earthly rules.

She was the giver and the tender
The reigning flower and splendor.
The precious moment in my reach
My fantasy and dreams beseech.

I caught the echoes of her let
By force of heart and seismic net.
Felt the ringing and the toll
Here in the chambers of my soul.

What conjuration could I use
To calm the dragon of this muse.
Fired and fused the cauldrons blew
And brought about a world of new.

Now I hover the why of things
And grow myself some dragon wings.


© Copyright 2000 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2000-07-10 03:39 PM


magical...

Sunny

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~

When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
2 posted 2000-07-10 03:46 PM


I love how you start your verses in this one..

"Out of the mist of time......
She showered me with wanton need.....
She was the giver and the tender.....
I caught the echoes of her let...
What conjuration I could use......."

A great intro to a verse makes the reader want to suck the rest up like a sponge.

Very well done..Bravo!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2000-07-10 06:12 PM


Sunshine,
Thank you for the magical

ethome,
A wonderful comment, thank you.

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
4 posted 2000-07-10 06:25 PM


Magical yes indeed.  This has that hidden mystical power of the world that can drive a man to his knees.  I really enjoyed this journey you have taken us on.
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
5 posted 2000-07-10 06:32 PM


Damn! you're good......

fine writing here

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
6 posted 2000-07-10 06:32 PM


Dragons, again! They always ruin everything, except the quality of your poetry. Always exquisite
Liz

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
7 posted 2000-07-10 08:10 PM


Dragons ruin things, I don't know LIz. They are very handy at BBQ's.  Seymour, a truely magical poem. A wonderful scene.

"I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else" faster-Manic street preachers.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2000-07-10 09:27 PM


Mark,
Wonderful comment.

Doreen,
This comming from you made my day.

Elizabeth,
There are good and bad dragons. Love Sy

Brain,
Thank you for the magical.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2000-07-10 09:33 PM


Seymour~
This muse has filled you to overflowing -

'She was the giver and the tender
The reigning flower and splendor.
The precious moment in my reach
My fantasy and dreams beseech.'

How I love the manner in which you poeticize !
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

10 posted 2000-07-10 09:39 PM


This is wonderful, Sy!  

Denise

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
11 posted 2000-07-10 09:41 PM


I always enjoy your Merlinesque offerings, Sy  
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
12 posted 2000-07-10 10:20 PM


Beautiful work you have shared with us~
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
13 posted 2000-07-10 10:48 PM


Sy--this sweet render
is poetic splendor!!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
14 posted 2000-07-11 08:02 AM


Marge,
You are a poetic love.

Denise,
Thank you for the wonderful.

Balladeer,
Merlinesque, now that's a $10.00 word.

Butterflies,
Thank you for the beatiful.

Martie,
Splendor just soothes my savage soul. *L*

angelswing
Senior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 705
United Kingdom
15 posted 2000-07-11 08:08 AM


Amazing ... 'and grow myself some dragons wings' - I loved the idea, this is truly wounderful, adventurous and pictorgraphic in it's intricasy, I loved the deep images you creat and the contrasts between soft and hard sounds, I loved it .
One of the best I have ever read .
L.of.L. Tom .


Don't try, do or do not, there is no try .
- Master Yoda -

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
16 posted 2000-07-11 08:28 AM


Seymour,
I made so many reads of this that I forgot to reply earlier... but who could blame me for such wonderful words presented...

Out of the mist of time she came
Without a notice without a name.
And I could not preform the gist
Nor explain the beginnings mist.
....
What conjuration could I use
To calm the dragon of this muse.
Fired and fused the cauldrons blew
And brought about a world of new.

Now I hover the why of things
And grow myself some dragon wings.

Seymour, this is another brilliant work from you...

regards, sudhir


LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
17 posted 2000-07-11 08:42 AM


Sy -

Now I hover the why of things....

You have an incredible sense of which words will work when they are used in unusual ways.  I would never have used "hover" in that way, and yet it fits beautifully into that line.  I always learn something new when I read your poems.  You are a rare gem.

[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 07-11-2000).]

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
18 posted 2000-07-11 10:06 AM


love the seismic net line.  This has such a wonderful flavor or days of dragons and witches, yet beneath that, another layer having do with love.

Me Liked.

Corinne

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
19 posted 2000-07-11 03:27 PM


Angelswing,
Wonderful and amazing comment.

Sudhir,
Love to read your wonderful comments.

JngJhnAg,
And you are a rare friend.

Corinne,
Thank you, thank you. *L*

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