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Open Poetry #8
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This Is For Tina
| Open Poetry #8 |
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This Is For Tina |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada 
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Down in the long arm near Key Largo I fell in love with a pretty blond girl. The best time upon me I married young Tina, we spent our days in a lover's new whirl. Deep in the night the passion would set us racing and restless under a spell. The nights ignited, our young hearts reeling, above the ocean we captured a thrill. Together as one we rolled the years in laughing and loving we let the world spin. Planning and caring two lives we were sharing in the circle of time beginning to end. One day past the homefront a perilous betrayer slipped in like a breeze shiftless unfurled. My loved one did answer the call of his potion soon I came home to an empty cold world. Gone on the promise of lies leading nowhere made from a pretense to truly stay one and as I read the note I would find there it spoke of her leaving with Daniel she loved. I was set back my mind lost and whirling I cried and I choked and watched the sky dim. Planning and caring two lives we'd been sharing now she was gone like chaff on the wind. One rainy day a call struck my heart strings it was my Tina and oh how she cried. She said, "Oh Johnny I've done all the wrong things and now I know Daniel won't leave his wife. I am so sorry for causing your heartbreak I know how you've suffered now I'll sacrifice with this sorrow I've captured a great weight now is the time I shall leave from this life." I cried out in fear my whole soul pleading "Please Tina don't lose and give in to this end!" Planning and caring two lives we'd been sharing "Hold on I'll be there to take you back in!" I raced in cold fear I drove the streets madly I ran up the stairway to where she was kept I kicked down the door with a force heart rending but she lay on the floor in a source blood red. There was my Tina sprawled out at her finish with the pistol beside her that took her last breath. I fell to the floor and cried with a vengence and vowed that I'd drink from the fountain of death. And as I knelt there sobbing so violent I felt my heart build a closet of hate. Planning and caring two lives we'd been sharing now Tina was lost at devil's heart gate. I vowed that I'd search out the soul of this Daniel A reaper of justice I'd shadow his death. I kept to the task with a plan ill determined and swore we'd be meeting to settle this debt. Finally I placed him a gaurd on the long beach high up in a chair to save the distressed and when I saw him my heart skipped a queer beat up over the crowd he spread his proud chest. And as I stood there angry and empty I felt the need to swim out through the waves. Planning and caring two lives we'd been sharing out through the cool waters I stroked with a rage. I swam a distance and truned in the sun's heat I yelled in a panic I was choking to death. He jumped from the tower and ran to my rescue to save this poor soul he'd give his best yet and when he reached me I was gasping and crying over his shoulder I was flung for the rest. Then round his throat my arm choked his life line I said, "this is for Tina," as he drew his last breath. And as I held him floating in silence I clutched his life jacket with tears in my eyes. I pulled him in to the crowd that was waiting I cried for amends that I'd held him too tight. Planning and caring two lives we'd been sharing now I'm alone with the stars and the night. Planning and caring two lives we'd been sharing I cry for forgiveness for love over life. NOTHING LIKE THIS EVER HAPPENED TO ME BY THE WAY! Celtrue2000@E3B1G9 |
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| © Copyright 2000 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
ethome, Wow, what a tale you have spun here!! Excellent writing!! You had me on the edge of my seat the whole time. I just had to read and see what happened. Very happy to hear this is not a true story. Fabulous writing!!  LW Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility. --William Wordsworth |
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Lady Web Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 96Houston, Texas |
Like I said before, there is no limit and there shouldn't be to what goes on in the mind of the poet. Nice story |
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Tennessee Angel Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661Tennessee |
Passion...intrigue...betrayal...suicide... murder! And all without missing a rhyme. Excellent!!! I held my breath clear to the end. Loved it! --You can either take me as I am...or you can watch me as I go.-- |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Wow! Very, very impressive. Looking forward to reading more. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Amazing story, well written...in awe!! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you so much Lone Wolf, Lady Web, Tennesse Angel, Eloise and Martie I appreciate your kind comments. |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
WOW This is a very powerful and touching piece and a very enjoyable read even though it was very sad...thanks Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
An interesting read..thanks...James |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you so much Tracie and James for taking the time to read and comment. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
A nice tale.. had all the mixtures of a classic play (ever think of that?)... beautifully scripted... the scenes just evolved in front of my eyes... great work... enjoyed reading this one, ethome, Many regards, sudhir |
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Jan Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 114 |
WOW, I was glued to the screen! |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
et - this really is a well written story - you've done the Forums proud - I was just like the rest - holding my breath, wondering what you would do - feeling the anguish - this is a great read! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you, Sudhir, jan, and LngJhnAg for your kind comments. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
ETHome~ Vivid with intrigue - held me through to the end. Very, very good ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
I am absolutely speachless and breathless after reading this wonderful work. Im quickly becoming a fan of yours. |
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