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Open Poetry #8
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Surviving Yet Not Living (my darkest poem)
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Surviving Yet Not Living (my darkest poem) |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! 
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Surviving Yet Not Living < !signature-->Lost, alone and scared Somewhere in this night Blinded by a love once held No switch to trip the light I shiver at the sound Of wolves howling at the sky Calling as if beckoning me To kiss this life good-bye I scream out at the silence To chase the sound away But the wolves just keep howling Asking me to come out and play Hello!, Hello!, Hello! Someone!, Someone!, Someone! The echo is all I here Bouncing back and forth Blackness crashing all around In the silence of these halls Nothing, do my hands caress As I reach out to find a wall Not a glimmer of hope do I foresee Within this hallowed tomb Not living, just surviving My mind in a padded room Seeking for the shelter Of her memory's loving arms A safe harbour in this journey To keep me from all harm Yet, nothing but blackness Do these eyes ever see Seeking, finding nothing But this perverted misery No chance to find myself Without this heartache's spell Yet, not daring to fold the cards Of which this life has dealt by: Jeffrey Carter All my love, Jeffrey [This message has been edited by Jeffrey Carter (edited 07-03-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeffrey D. Carter - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Jeffery: Such a poem full of despair, but so well written, if I may even say beautifully written. Yes, this is your darkest poem, but your talent shines through. I relate because I am going through something similar to this, expect about a man of course. What a hopeless feeling it is to live, but only be existing or surviving. Hugs to you my friend. Take care, Melissa Honeybee The beauty of poetry gives me wings to fly |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Jeffery, a very dark poem. intense. excellent writing. It helps to put these thoughts on paper, I hope this poem will some of your pain, take care. A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
darkly beautiful Jeff.. very well written and strong impact of emotions i love the imagery and the last verse is excellent... later-poetic-pen-gator jm What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly ~LaoTzeTao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Great writing, Jeffrey. I'm glad you're not willing to throw in the cards. That's never the answer. Ups and downs, light and dark, fear and peace are all parts of life to be enjoyed, to learn from or grow through. But you know that. Again, great writing! Denise p.s. in your third stanza, fourth line you have a typo...the word from is there twice. |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Thank you all for your kind words  First, let me say this is just a poem, not reflective of anything going on in my life at this time (Thank God) p.s. Thanks for telling me about the typo Denise All my love, Jeffrey |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Jeffrey, Happy to hear this is not how you feel. Very powerful and dark writing my friend. Well done though. The images that come to mind are haunting. Like I am there too. Great writing!! LW Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility. --William Wordsworth |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I'm glad this is not drawn from personal feeling, that tells me you have successfully expressed emotion as an escape from it, which means you have used imagination to the utmost. I hope that made sense!!! A word is dead When it is said, Some say. I say it just Begins to live That day. Emily Dickinson |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Uh, whatever Rose said  Excellent work, Jeffrey, and good use of imagination |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
This poem just simply shows your talents and the versatility to your writing my friend. Excellent work! Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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mariee66 Senior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 596Recess, OfYourMind |
Good writing Jeffrey, and I would have to agree that it is very dark, yet there's some hope in that ending--"Yet, not daring to fold the cards, Of which this life has dealt" Marie~ |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Jeffrey~ This IS good writing, my friend. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Jenn,Kathleen, Balladeer LOL, Marina, Marie, and Marge...Thank you all so very much, I truly do appreciate your kindness (((HUGS))) to you all All my love, Jeffrey |
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redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
>>>> i want my nite light pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee Kay-lynn **A dream is a wish your heart makes :) |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
"not living, just surviving" wow, sadly we can probably all connect with this, its those "just surviving" times though that make us appreciated the "living" times...hope you feel like living soon |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
I love the urgency in this Jeffrey ... beautifully expressed. I'm glad to read it's only imagination, but you've penned this so well ... I was getting worried there for a minute! Great writing! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Theres always a dark side to life...being able to see it without living it is a great talent...and a great blessing...very well written |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Jeffery~ WOW! Excellent! -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
No chance to find myself Without this heartache's spell Yet, not daring to fold the cards Of which this life has dealt ..... Most part of the life, one survives most of it and calls it living... but is it actually living? A question that one always has to keep in perspective... Jeffery, You have written this poem very well... just like I have come to expect from you... Amazing images throughout.. regards, sudhir |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
the tone of this poem was urgent and intense and i could feel my heart beating a little bit faster and my eyes reading through the poem a bit faster...if that was what you were aiming for in the reader, then i must say you have succeeded in this reader  |
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Holly Member
since 2000-05-12
Posts 127Arkansas |
Jeffrey- It is certainly dark...and the images are haunting, but it is EXCELLENT! I enjoy reading your work! I certainly enjoyed working with you. Your talent just flows so beautifully. OH, please check your ICQ messages. love & all, -Holly  I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of. Michel de Montaigne |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Jeffrey, Yes I agree there are times where you can feel like you killed yourself without killing yourself and you just survive, your piece explains that well. Sometimes that darkest time brings out overwhelming feelings, hugs to you on communicating those feelings so strongly. |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
keep this poem, file it away somewhere. When you bring it out five years from now, or even two years from now, you won't believe you felt this way, and will quietly file it away again. Corinne |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Y'know...I always seem to be late....it's because I'm in D'nile, with out the requisite paddle...you said this one for me JC, I thank you much...well done... |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Kay-Lynn Carew  Corazon, Yep, I can certainly relate to that, but as I said this is just a poem Kit, Thank you for your concern and for the vote of confidence Paula, Thank you for that great compliment SEA, Thank you for the WOW!!! Sudhir, Very good question my friend Thank you for that ponder Kaile, Now that's a compliment Holly, Thank you, I enjoyed working with you as well...Huh? ICQ? What's that? LOL Gemini, (which just happens to be my sign btw) Thank you Corrine, Thank you, but again this is just a poem Serenity, Hmmmm....so that's where the words came from....you sent through mental telepathy didn't you? LOL |
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