Open Poetry #8 |
Ache of Again |
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
~ache of again~ under 3 am moon, (again) comes this ache ... rest now forgotten, poetic words to forsake. my eyes know (again) tonight -- they'll see no sleep. their burden is heavy, as is the secret I keep. like Mardi Gras heat ... this ache steams my skin, a thirst unquenched ... a hunger, unfed from within. the night air hangs thick, his scent comes in on humid breeze. from this ache (again) tonight- I'll find no ease. any trace of him ... brings on this slow burn. a moth to his flame, (I guess I'll never learn) bayou storms rise up ... sultry rain comes in slow. I can still hear his voice, in whispers, low. taste his lips, feel his gentle touch ... (what I lack) is knowing how to (again) let go ... of something so fine and needed so much. Janet Marie I dont care what they say ... its NOT the humidity ... its the HEAT ... (or the lack of it) look me twin...I did one in "s'en structure" What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly ~LaoTzeTao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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© Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
JM, Welcome back!!! You have tugged at my heart with your words of longing. I know it is so hard to let go, but sometimes there is nothing more we can do. You deserve someone who will love you back in the way that you love them. He's out there my friend. I know what you are going through. This was great writing. Take care, LW Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility. --William Wordsworth |
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kat Member
since 2000-05-20
Posts 387 |
Oh Janet, how I know what you're feeling so well. I myself have been up at that time writing poetry missing someone. *sigh* I read this one twice and my eyes glazed over missing that someone again. This was sad but beautiful. kat |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Wow, JM....steamy, sultry sorrow...definitely a neat combination....you have a winner here! That muse seems back to me! Wonderful work, keep it up my friend! *Krista Knutson* "We are not seperate from spirit, we are in it." ~Plotinus~ |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
One of your best yet, Janet Marie, really captures that longing! And I can sure relate to lying awake at 3 am. Corinne |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
JM, this one's a real bullseye! Not only is it beautiful writing but you have injected the perfect amount of longing, sincerity and melancholy into every line. I love it |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
My fellow butterfly sharer... wow... this is amazing - absolutely love it... 'this ache steams my skin, a thirst unquenched ... a hunger, unfed from within. the night air hangs thick, his scent comes in on humid breeze. from this ache (again) tonight- I'll find no ease. any trace of him ... brings on this slow burn. a moth to his flame, (I guess I'll never learn)' oh yeah...you said it and said it so well my friend... hugs K |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Oh Janny this is so touching and indeed a longing with much sorrow. Hugs sweet one Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Beautifully expressed, Janet! Lovely poem of longing and love. Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Oh Janet Marie ... I can feel the ache and longing all the way over here as I read. You've expressed yourself incredibly well in this, and the form you've used works so beautifully with your sentiments. Love to see you stretching that pen JM! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Jan* I'm without words.....or atleast the ones I want, as soon as I read the title I knew I was in for tears....this is amazing. You KNOW how this one makes me feel, you KNOW I KNOW. The tears flow from my heart and soul with this one...where the heck is that submit button???? Many Many thanks for this and so much more my dear S.S. **Angel Wing Hugs and Butterfly Kisses** Love ya I do!! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You lovely, lovely butterfly you...I've missed you, but the "gang" has been kidnapping me away from my computer... This is so perfect. So you...so me...a perfect start to my day... Love you much...even if I am late, as usual... |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Hey Janet Marie, the title attracted me and WOW loved the poem too, filled with such longing, I understand it! Well written hon Yes, I am here, but I am dead, not alive, my body goes on, my spirit has died, and I though alive, feel dead inside. "Rose Petal" |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
JanetMarie~ Well-done, lady. Wishing you happier thoughts. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Very well done Janet! Well crafted descriptions of yearning with a twist of melancholy on the side. Loved it! |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
How did you get this poem past me? more raw emotions, phew... a thirst unquenched ... a hunger, unfed from within. the night air hangs thick, his scent comes in on humid breeze. from this ache (again) tonight- I'll find no ease. any trace of him ... brings on this slow burn. a moth to his flame, (I guess I'll never learn) bayou storms rise up ... sultry rain comes in slow. I can still hear his voice, in whispers, low. taste his lips, this one really aches, hope all is well. excellent writing, thanks for sharing. A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry |
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mariee66 Senior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 596Recess, OfYourMind |
There's great longing in this piece. You did a great job expressing, and I like the format! Marie~ |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
OOOOH!!! Got me longing to be under the AC, or that may be cos mine is broken LOL In any case this is a very well written and expressed piece! All my love, Jeffrey |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
OH JM that 3am ache...its always the worst kind...you make me hurt girl I love it |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellently written, Janet Marie! Well done! Denise |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
Love this One J.M. on nights like this you pick up your pen I pick up my guitar, and we cant play a wrong note, its lubrication for the soul and this piece has never made me feel so good about feeling so bad, wonderful work if you listen hard you can here me strumming along. Take care Olias |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
You my friend.......leave me speechless sometimes. This is one of those times. Ok......so it is not even possible!!!!! LOL But you know I love your work!!!!! Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
There is someone else with butterfly slippers in this forum? I WILL NOT TOLERATE IT! Anyway, loved the poem, J.M. (aka the original B.S.) -- I swore I was reading one of S'en's, but also with your voice. What a treat! Mike [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (edited 07-03-2000).] |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
What else can I say that hasn't been said I luv it too Coco [This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 07-03-2000).] |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
Once again I struggle to find the words, excellent work! God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Unknown |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
wow girl...this is great....its almost as if reading this gives the reader that very same ache...or the memory of one of our own...great writing |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Janet~ you are Awesome!!! This makes you feel with every word! Loved it -SEA Live,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Janet, This is an incredible piece of magic poetry... Ah! what pleasure to read your works... Most enjoyable... regards, sudhir |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Janet--this poem aches! You are so good at writing your heart's passion. |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Oh the longing can be sooooo unbearable!! This is such a good piece!! You write them soo well!! Bridgette "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
thank you ALL SO MUCH-- for your encouragement and sweet replies... since this was a "new style" for me... I was unsure of it ... as always...you guys make me feel like I can fly... thank you so much... once again you teach me and inspire me... once again I grow as a poet in your light love ya all jm What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly ~LaoTzeTao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
In the middle of a Sultry bayou nite you pen words of missing delight. great readining. jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Your new style works. It has reminded me why I spend so many sleepless nights and I now yearn as well. As usual, you inspire me. |
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