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Nikkisweet
Member

since 2000-02-14

Posts 183
Tx, Dallas

0 posted 2000-06-11 07:25 PM

This one tear
Is for you
I hope you love again
And that I do too

This one tear
Shows no happieness
It prepares us both
For the lonlieness

This one tear
Flows down my cheek
It represents the love that
We both seek

This one tear
Will dry up fast
And when we meet again
This tear will only be the past

mickel2995
Junior Member

since 2000-05-24

Posts 48

1 posted 2000-06-11 08:01 PM

Great use of rhymes and wordings!! It rhymes, yet still makes sense! Good job! Micale

Isabelle
Member

since 1999-08-25

Posts 176
Indiana

2 posted 2000-06-11 10:21 PM

I really like the way this was written. You had good rhyme scheme. My favorite part is the third stanza. It's so sweet yet sad. Nicely written and i hope to see more from you.

Jeanna

"Poetry is the music of the souls, and above all, of great and feeling souls."
~Voltaire~

Angel
Senior Member

since 1999-07-02

Posts 551
Pennsylvania

3 posted 2000-06-11 11:52 PM

This was great

. I loved the rhyme scheme too and the third stanza. It was awesome

.

~Susie

"If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Driftwood"

Lucius Cade
Member

since 2000-03-23

Posts 235
Saskatchewan

4 posted 2000-06-12 01:20 AM

This one tear
Shows no happieness
It prepares us both
For the lonlieness

Very beautiful words. This poem reminds me of my own life. Very sad.

Lucidity is the answer to all problems

Novacaine For The Soul
Member

since 2000-05-26

Posts 122
New Orleans

5 posted 2000-06-12 02:52 AM

dear nikki:
*wipes back a tear* that was beautiful man... beautiful... *sniffle*... i have to go with lucius on this one... sad though it is... beautifully melancholy... exactly what i love in a poem

sincerely,
a sad tomato

you're such a beautiful freak... i wish there were more just like you...

amazon_lover
Member

since 2000-04-09

Posts 491
Dublin,Ireland

6 posted 2000-06-12 03:16 PM

Hi Nikki
I've felt so many times like this. This showed a good strength and optimism.

Sincerely
A_L

Estrella
New Member

since 2000-06-12

Posts 8

7 posted 2000-06-12 10:12 PM

This's a nice one... I agree with Novacaine, it is beautifully melancholy. I really liked it.

Joleen

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

8 posted 2007-11-17 01:58 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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