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Teen Poetry #3
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StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado

0 posted 2000-06-16 02:35 PM


Deceived and betrayed
Left alone completely dismayed
He told her things that were not true
She sits--alone; cold and blue
She now feels used and looks the same
Through others eyes she feels the shame
She thought he cared
She thought he knew
What it was he put her through
But the rain poured down with such sweet sorrow
As she wonderred how to stop the tears that flowed  
so freely to the ground
She now sees how and why
He did that to her, and knows how she feels
I hate you now; daddy
You make me cry
Sometimes I wish you would die
< !signature-->

 "Love is the product of our discontentment with ourselves."
"Bleeding hearts release tears of fire"
"work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt,and live everyday as if it's your last"


[This message has been edited by StarPryncess17 (edited 06-16-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Jessica Lynn - All Rights Reserved
Kandi
Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354
North of Hell
1 posted 2000-06-16 03:29 PM


Wow. very powerful.  I thought it was about love, and then in the last few lines the real meaning behind the poem hit very hard.  I like that  
ALso, I would like to say thank you for your opinion on the situation with my grandpa. I'm not sure he WANTS me to see him b/c he's a proud man, plus things between us were always very nonverbal and we have a connection that surpasses words or even distance.  But I have decided to think things through i little more b4 i make a final decision thanks to your advice.  So again - I appreciate it.
Much Love
Kandi
PS - don't worry.  Me and jeremy...just friends. He still loves you best. lol  


 ~*All that I have found in reason is reason just to not believe *~

~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~

StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
2 posted 2000-06-16 07:19 PM


Oh Kris~I'm glad to hear you're going to give it a little more  thought! Just look inside your heart, I know you'll find the answer!  oh and about Jeremy, I was just kidding! lol me and him joke about stuff like that all the time! Best of luck with your decision! Love Ya Always~*~Jessica~*~

 "Love is the product of our discontentment with ourselves."
"Bleeding hearts release tears of fire"
"work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt,and live everyday as if it's your last"
"Shoot for the moon, if you shall fall short, you always have the stars to fall upon"

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
3 posted 2000-06-18 02:08 PM


you show so much hate i should say in this poem but i liked it. just like your other poem i feel your pain. it shows emotions and feelings that you dont want to show but in the end you give up. at least thats how i feel.
Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

4 posted 2000-06-18 02:57 PM


Wow, that was really powerful!  I don't think I can relate and I'm still not sure that I really understand, but I think it's a really good poem.  Keep writing, you're good at it.  
Bel

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
5 posted 2000-06-18 03:20 PM


i don't spend much time in here but i do check inon it from time to time and this poem caught my eye at first i thought it to be about a boyfriend but either way it works. i do love it alot. and i guess i'll post some poems in here but i don't get to many people to listen that are around my age i seem to get more info from older people

I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul



Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551
Pennsylvania
6 posted 2000-06-18 04:00 PM


I thought it was about a boyfriend at first too. I love surprise endings  . It is terrible to be hurt by someone who should love you so much. I'm sorry. Great poem, though  .

~Susie


"If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."
~Henry W

StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
7 posted 2000-06-18 09:35 PM


Oh thank you all for your wonderful replies!! They mean so much!

Erin~hate in your heart consumes you. It did me, just be careful. My dad doesn't understand and I doubt that he ever will. Thanks for your kind words I'm glad you liked it and felt my feelings.

Isabel~I'm glad you liked it! I wrote this quite some time ago when asked to write about my true feelings. It's not my best but it will do.

Jeremiah~ I'm looking forward to seeing some of your posts!!!! I'd like to see your style. well, I wish I could say it was about a boyfriend...but it's about my dad   it would not be as heart shattering had it been about an ex. Thanks for your reply!! And get your butt to posting! j/k!

Susie~well, I'm glad that you liked it! I will be looking for your work! you seem to be very insightful. Thanks for your reply. And thanks for your concern!  

Once Again, thank all of you for your replies! They mean a lot!! Love ya All!!

Love Always~*~Jessica~*~


"Love is the product of our discontentment with ourselves."
"Bleeding hearts release tears of fire"
"work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt,and live everyday as if it's your last"
"Shoot for the moon, if you shall fall short, you always have the stars to fall upon"

mickel2995
Junior Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 48

8 posted 2000-06-18 11:23 PM


Well, Jess- i sit here in awwww.  I know so much the pain you are going through wiht your  dad, and you know mine (thank god we have each other) and there is one particular reason I like this poem-- (except the last coupke lines) I can totally relate this to me and Nick.  Good job hun!!  WE need to start  writing together again!  LYL, peace.  Your girly, Micale.


LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

9 posted 2000-06-19 01:26 AM


Wow, this is a very powerful poem. I can really relate to it, in some ways. But you have to remember how powerful hate is.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde

Crystalina123
Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 228

10 posted 2000-06-19 09:18 AM


While I like this poem a lot, I feel I must say something: hate isn't always the answer. I've learned that the only thing hate does is eat you from the inside out, but you don't need to hear my sermon. Anyhoo, I like this poem as I look forward to all of your other postings. Take care.


Crystal


Maybe God has us meet a few wrong people so that when we meet the right one we can truly appreciate the gift.

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
11 posted 2000-06-19 10:20 AM


Well, that poem fooled me.  I thought it was about love too.

One advice I would love to pass unto you.  Believe me your dad understands your side, but he'd rather stick with his side.  Me and my brothers and sisters hated my dad with a passion when we were growing up.  You wouldn't believe how strict he was.  And believe me you don't know when I say you don't know what a strict dad is. He abused us mentally and physically (he didn't beat us up, but he'd continously wack our butts with a stick or a belt buckle).  One time I over heard him talking to my mom, and this really made me feel like an ass.  He told my mom that he didn't care if his kids don't like him at all as long as the kids grow up the right way.  He said that it's not about him at all it's about the children.  When I heard that my heart popped out of my chest and i new i've been the ass all that time.  He cares!!! It doesn't mean that just because you guys don't agree right now, or he seems like he don't understand, it doesn't mean that he don't care......
No matter what, he still is your dad

hope this helps   sorry for the long reply  


sweettalker24
New Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 4

12 posted 2000-06-19 12:19 PM


very good, bravo, magnifiqante! Good work, it's a beautique poem about showing how you fell, and we write our most greatest poems when we feel emotions, like eh, Madness, or Sadness we will write negativaty or if it is happiness or love, we will write Positivity and gayness... Muah good work !


sweettalker24
New Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 4

13 posted 2000-06-19 12:19 PM


very good, bravo, magnifiqante! Good work, it's a beautique poem about showing how you fell, and we write our most greatest poems when we feel emotions, like eh, Madness, or Sadness we will write negativaty or if it is happiness or love, we will write Positivity and gayness... Muah good work !
StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
14 posted 2000-06-20 12:08 PM


Cale~Girl you know I love you! what would I do with out you? well, you know what I would do...anyways, we do need to start writing together again!! ASAP. SISTERS-4-LIFE!!

LoveBug~hate may seem to be a harsh word. But in my opinion there's no word that exists to explain my feelings towards my father for doing what he did to me. I'm sure you don't understand(and obviously part of it is because you don't know the whole stroy) and I don't expect you to. Please just don't pass judgement upon me when I ues words like this...I only say things I mean, and yes I mean it to my father.

Crystal~well, hate is a terrible thing and I understand what you are saying. I have expplored and even tried to forgive my father for what he has done, but it's not that easy and he sure hasn't been helping. You're right it does eat you away inside. And well, this was the last poem I have written about him(which was in January) and I just chose not to think about him EVER...because I know that he doesn't bother to think about me. Thanks for your opinions though.

Acire~I'm not sure my dad understands or not. I seem to have told him over and over again and his behavior persisted I honestly don't understand how someone could so willingly give up their "flesh and blood" for their "significant other" it doesn't make sense to me and I suppose it never will.I don't care if my dad ever understands me or my pain because even if he does it will be too late.  And no, you're not the ass. I don't mean to be disrespectful to your father, but not one person ever deserves to be treated the way you were. There are ways to do things properly and unproperly. You did not deserve the treatment you received. I'm soo sorry to hear that you went through that as a child. And just because your dad has his own opinions about how things should happen doesn't make him a bad person;and it certainly doesn't make you an ass. You did nothing wrong. It just tells me that your father may have mixed emoptions about things. (I'm just making an assumption, sorry )Best of luck and thank you for all your helpful advice!!

Sweettalker~aawwwwww you're too kind!   I'm glad you liked it!

Thank you all for your wonderful replies!! They mean so much. Love Always~*~Jessica~*~







"Love is the product of our discontentment with ourselves."
"Bleeding hearts release tears of fire"
"work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt,and live everyday as if it's your last"
"Shoot for the moon, if you shall fall short, you always have the stars to fall upon"

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A
15 posted 2000-06-21 04:03 AM


Wow, you've gotten a pretty nice reaction out of this one...it deserves it too.  I really hope that someday, you and your dad can be like family again...we can always hope, right.

9 3/4 x 3 1/2

"Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade."

ValerieB726
Junior Member
since 2000-06-21
Posts 14
Louisville,OH, USA
16 posted 2000-06-21 07:03 PM


WOW! That was good. I totally know how you feel but I think my story is different than yours. And it's not my dad its a family friend. Well keep writing because your poems are GREAT! Good luck in all you do!

Novacaine For The Soul
Member
since 2000-05-26
Posts 122
New Orleans
17 posted 2000-06-21 07:15 PM


dear starprincess,
     hmmm... odd... it seems i read this one the other day and didn't take time to respond to it... must have been in a hurry *heh* i apologize for my tardy response... this is a quite good poem... i have to say that i'm a bit disturbed by the sentiments expressed therein, but i can also understand them and i hope that you've had time to heal since this event...

sincerely,
a sad tomato

you're such a beautiful freak... i wish there were more just like you...

StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
18 posted 2000-06-22 01:52 PM


Jeremy~thanks for the hope...but I don't think there's a fighting chance. Which is ok. I realized that the only way to free myself from the pain he has caused is to forgive him. I don't and won't talk to him or see him either...but I do forgive him, resent only left me an unhappy peson and I didn't like the person I was becoming. thanks for the kind words! Love ya!

Valerie~ohhh, you're too kind! thanks for your reply! I'm sorry to hear that you have had to bare the same pain I have. It just plain sucks. Time heals the heart and hopefully with plenty of time and friends by your side you'll be able to regain your happiness. (not that you're like depressed about it...but I'm sure it still hurts.)

Novacaine~thanks! I'm glad that you replied! You didn't have to. lol. I'm glad you did though. and no need to apologize, I understand. It's better tardy than never at all.Like I said before I have found it in my heart (which was quite the struggle!) to forgive my father. Only because spending my time hating him only hurt me. Fortunately, I have had some time to heal and I'm a happier person because of it. Thanks for your reply!!! Love Always~*~Jessica~*~


~*~Love is the product of our dicontentment with ourselves~*~
~*~SMILE! It makes your butt shine!~*~

StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
19 posted 2000-06-24 06:34 PM


Micale~OK so this isn't the place to post this, but I just wanted you to know how proud of you I am for standing up to NIck the way you did! You're going to do alot better! you don't need him! hehehe. can't wait!!! 2 more months   MIss ya girl!! Love Always~*~Jessica~*~ SISTERS-4-LIFE

~*~Love is the product of our dicontentment with ourselves~*~
~*~SMILE! It makes your butt shine!~*~

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
20 posted 2000-06-25 06:16 AM


I hope you manage to work thru your pain
and find true happiness again.

Love and hugs,
Lizzie


"Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."

~Night_Mist~
Junior Member
since 2000-06-24
Posts 31
Calgary, AB Canada
21 posted 2000-06-25 02:44 PM


WOW! That was a very powerful poem. I really loved it! Stirs feelings! Great job...Keep writing cause I want to hear more!
                          Luv, ~Night_Mist~

~Night_Mist~
Junior Member
since 2000-06-24
Posts 31
Calgary, AB Canada
22 posted 2000-06-25 02:44 PM


WOW! That was a very powerful poem. I really loved it! Stirs feelings! Great job...Keep writing cause I want to hear more!
                          Luv, ~Night_Mist~


jennie may*
Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 122

23 posted 2000-06-25 09:49 PM


I like.
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
24 posted 2007-11-18 02:00 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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