How i feel ( a poem of expression)

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #3

How i feel ( a poem of expression)

The Mike Sacks
Member

since 1999-08-29

Posts 129
brooklyn ny

0 posted 2000-06-11 06:52 AM

If you can't see the way i feel,
you must be blind.
every move you make,
and tought you say,
leaves me in lightless mind.
I see no conclusion,
in lifes disilusions.
that could show me where to find,
the day or night,
of endless might,
to tell you your gentel and kind.

mickel2995
Junior Member

since 2000-05-24

Posts 48

1 posted 2000-06-11 08:35 AM

I like the way you rhyme and the way it flows, good job! With love, Micale

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

2 posted 2000-06-11 10:29 AM

I'm leaving your poem in only 3 forums. The rest are being locked. Please don't post the same poem in every forum.

Isabelle
Member

since 1999-08-25

Posts 176
Indiana

3 posted 2000-06-11 10:40 PM

Very sweet poem. I too like the way it rhymes and how it flows so smoothly. Keep it up.

Jeanna

"Poetry is the music of the souls, and above all, of great and feeling souls."
~Voltaire~

Novacaine For The Soul
Member

since 2000-05-26

Posts 122
New Orleans

4 posted 2000-06-12 02:38 AM

dear mike:
i found the misspellings to be an almost insurmountable obstacle to the poem's excellence (i suppose that's what happens when you run up against a poetic perfectionist like myself *heh*)... aside from this i had two comments about the poem itself: on positive, and one that may require a closer look by yourself... first, i really love the phrase "lightless mind"... it's a unique and powerful image... also, i have trouble comprehending "every thought you say"... i suppose i've always concieved of "thought" as a silent, cognitive process, not an oratorical one... anyway... just wanted to share my thoughts and feel free to ignore or look into that... *heh*...

sincerely,
a sad tomato

you're such a beautiful freak... i wish there were more just like you...

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

5 posted 2007-11-17 01:56 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.