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Teen Poetry #3
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Jacman
Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291
Dwight Il, US

0 posted 2000-07-18 11:52 AM


Your eyes are the storm that ignites
the fire burning within me.
Your locks are a tender breeze
swirling about me.
I see on your cheeks the rose
of the garden which knoweth no boundry.
Your skin soft, as the touch of a ripe olive.
Your hands are tender, pure, and simple.
Your touch can heal all of my pain.
Your voice calls to me as I am sleeping.
my sweetest dreams are only because of you.
Your lips are full, and glow
as the dew on the lily in th eearly morning sun.
They are sweet as the nectar of a honeysuckle.
Your form is etched from the emerald
by the craftsman that knows not the meaning of time.
You are without blemish.
Your purity is as a fine wine
whose seal is not broken.
I would poor my soul into you
and never return to myself.
For on that day, will I become one with
.....you.....

© Copyright 2000 Jason Allen Carmen - All Rights Reserved
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

1 posted 2000-07-18 12:14 PM


Jason, this is a beautiful poem! Wonderful writing, my friend. Keep up the good work!

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea

TAP2
Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 211
Morris, Il USA
2 posted 2000-07-18 01:00 PM


Inspiring verse. That special someone sometimes leads us t wax eloquent at the mere thought of everything about them. Good job.

Thomas A. Plemmons

"I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss The Dance"

-Garth Brooks-

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A
3 posted 2000-07-19 06:08 AM


One of the most well writen, inspiring, descriptive, and just plain beautiful pieces I've ever read.   I told you that the first time I read it and now I've said it again.  you da man!!!

Jeremy

"Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade."

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2000-07-19 07:04 AM


Wonderful Jason!  So filled with tender sentiments and incredible imagery ... well done!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

LiLOnE
Junior Member
since 2000-07-12
Posts 41
Sudbury, Ma
5 posted 2000-07-19 09:03 AM


Jason,
  This  poem is beautiful... There is obvioulsy some one very special in your life... Never let go!!! I look foward to reading more of your beautiful poems! If you would like to read some of mine I have then posted in  #8..
Beautiful work again!!
~*~LiLOnE~*~

LyricFetish
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
6 posted 2000-07-19 11:11 AM


It's so sweet that you wrote a poem all about me!! *ahem*
Seriously though, great writing, the person who inspired it must be very special. You rock my friend.

*~Meredith~*

It's so obvious
That the promise
Keeps me here
Painting pictures where
All the colors
Disappear
*Lit

StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
7 posted 2000-07-19 04:52 PM


the softest side seen yet of my musketeer friend! lol. you are wonderful Jason and I know this poem is about me so I'll keep it on the down low so now one knows ok?   j/k!! hehehe. Hope she knows how you feel hun! LOVE YA!! Love Always~*~Jessica*~


*~* I wIsH I wAs A LiTTlE gIrL aGaIn; SkInNeD kNeEs AnD bRuIsEd ElBoWs ArE eAsIeR tO hEaL tHaN a BrOkEn HeArT!*~*

Jacman
Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291
Dwight Il, US
8 posted 2000-07-20 11:17 AM


Thanks for all of your replies.  

Love bug... I ended up only having to edit one line, but it turned out ok.  The only thing is, just now I can see where it just doesn't flow right in that area.

Tom... Well It's too bad that that special someone doesn't actually exhist.  This poem is about my dream girl.

Jeremy, Thinks man, These people really need to watch you keep yourself from blinking.

Kit...  Thank you, and really, you are too kind.

Lil one... Thanks alot, I will definitely check out #8.

Meredith... Like I said before to Tom, this is about my dream girl, and who knows it could be you.

Princess Jess... Ahh, last but not least.  Yah, definitely keep it on the down low because I might get goofy on Meredith.j/k.  But I read your e-mail and I think your right.  No joke.

Again thanks everybody, this really was my favorite.  I'm glad that you all liked it.

Jason

AngelShell
Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
9 posted 2000-07-21 04:25 AM


Jason, this is truely magnificent!!!!
I don't think that I have read a poem in a while that inspired that much passion and light.  It is truely a wonderful piece of writing.
I could only wish that someone will think that about me one day.
You are obviously a guy that has been blessed with a love so strong and so pure that there aren't words strong enough to say what you feel.
I definately feel that this poem only scratched the surface of what you are feeling for this girl.
I will definately look for more of your writing in the future.
Make sure that you keep up the brilliant writing!!

Love Always,
Shell.

LyricFetish
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
10 posted 2000-07-21 02:11 PM


Hey, well I'm glad to see I've got a shot at 'dream girl'. But you best not get goofy on me, or I'll have to write a mean poem about you, bud. HA! Right, anyway, be cool.

*~Meredith~*

It's so obvious
That the promise
Keeps me here
Painting pictures where
All the colors
Disappear
*Lit

Jacman
Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291
Dwight Il, US
11 posted 2000-07-21 06:03 PM


Angell shell...

Well thank you very much, your kind words are very much appreciated.  Yes, I do tend to fall very deep into an emotional bliss at times.  Even when I don't mean to.

Meredith....

I wouldn't want that.  

BabyGirl1
Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 91
Morris, IL
12 posted 2000-07-21 11:31 PM


Beatuiful poem Jay.  Since you posted this have you found your dream girl  (my sister?)   It better not be!!!  Just kiddin.  One day you will find that special someone to share all of that love you have inside of you and she sure will be a lucky lady.  But, if it is my sister, watch your back!! (ha-ha)

Love always,
BabyGirl1


"We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can fly only by embracing each other."

-Luciano de Crescenzo-

AngelShell
Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
13 posted 2000-07-21 11:49 PM


I think we all fall sometimes, whether we want to or not is definately a different story.
However it's good that you can do that when you are writing, it gives to something to power those creative juices that I know must flow very freely.

I really hope to hear more from you!!!

Love Always,
Shell.

Beautiful is empty
Beautiful is free
Beautiful loves no one
Beautiful stripped me
~Beautiful~
~Creed~

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
14 posted 2007-12-02 08:27 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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