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Teen Poetry #3
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| Teen Poetry #3 |
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You |
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Jacman Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291Dwight Il, US |
Your eyes are the storm that ignites the fire burning within me. Your locks are a tender breeze swirling about me. I see on your cheeks the rose of the garden which knoweth no boundry. Your skin soft, as the touch of a ripe olive. Your hands are tender, pure, and simple. Your touch can heal all of my pain. Your voice calls to me as I am sleeping. my sweetest dreams are only because of you. Your lips are full, and glow as the dew on the lily in th eearly morning sun. They are sweet as the nectar of a honeysuckle. Your form is etched from the emerald by the craftsman that knows not the meaning of time. You are without blemish. Your purity is as a fine wine whose seal is not broken. I would poor my soul into you and never return to myself. For on that day, will I become one with .....you..... |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jason Allen Carmen - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Jason, this is a beautiful poem! Wonderful writing, my friend. Keep up the good work! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde "The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea |
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TAP2 Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 211Morris, Il USA |
Inspiring verse. That special someone sometimes leads us t wax eloquent at the mere thought of everything about them. Good job. Thomas A. Plemmons "I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss The Dance" -Garth Brooks- |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A |
One of the most well writen, inspiring, descriptive, and just plain beautiful pieces I've ever read. I told you that the first time I read it and now I've said it again. you da man!!! Jeremy "Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade." |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wonderful Jason! So filled with tender sentiments and incredible imagery ... well done!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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LiLOnE Junior Member
since 2000-07-12
Posts 41Sudbury, Ma |
Jason, This poem is beautiful... There is obvioulsy some one very special in your life... Never let go!!! I look foward to reading more of your beautiful poems! If you would like to read some of mine I have then posted in #8.. Beautiful work again!! ~*~LiLOnE~*~ |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
It's so sweet that you wrote a poem all about me!! *ahem* Seriously though, great writing, the person who inspired it must be very special. You rock my friend. *~Meredith~* It's so obvious That the promise Keeps me here Painting pictures where All the colors Disappear *Lit |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
the softest side seen yet of my musketeer friend! lol. you are wonderful Jason and I know this poem is about me so I'll keep it on the down low so now one knows ok?  j/k!! hehehe. Hope she knows how you feel hun! LOVE YA!! Love Always~*~Jessica*~*~* I wIsH I wAs A LiTTlE gIrL aGaIn; SkInNeD kNeEs AnD bRuIsEd ElBoWs ArE eAsIeR tO hEaL tHaN a BrOkEn HeArT!*~* |
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Jacman Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291Dwight Il, US |
Thanks for all of your replies. Love bug... I ended up only having to edit one line, but it turned out ok. The only thing is, just now I can see where it just doesn't flow right in that area. Tom... Well It's too bad that that special someone doesn't actually exhist. This poem is about my dream girl. Jeremy, Thinks man, These people really need to watch you keep yourself from blinking. Kit... Thank you, and really, you are too kind. Lil one... Thanks alot, I will definitely check out #8. Meredith... Like I said before to Tom, this is about my dream girl, and who knows it could be you. Princess Jess... Ahh, last but not least. Yah, definitely keep it on the down low because I might get goofy on Meredith.j/k. But I read your e-mail and I think your right. No joke. Again thanks everybody, this really was my favorite. I'm glad that you all liked it. Jason  |
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
Jason, this is truely magnificent!!!! I don't think that I have read a poem in a while that inspired that much passion and light. It is truely a wonderful piece of writing. I could only wish that someone will think that about me one day. You are obviously a guy that has been blessed with a love so strong and so pure that there aren't words strong enough to say what you feel. I definately feel that this poem only scratched the surface of what you are feeling for this girl. I will definately look for more of your writing in the future. Make sure that you keep up the brilliant writing!! Love Always, Shell. |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
Hey, well I'm glad to see I've got a shot at 'dream girl'. But you best not get goofy on me, or I'll have to write a mean poem about you, bud. HA! Right, anyway, be cool. *~Meredith~* It's so obvious That the promise Keeps me here Painting pictures where All the colors Disappear *Lit |
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Jacman Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291Dwight Il, US |
Angell shell... Well thank you very much, your kind words are very much appreciated. Yes, I do tend to fall very deep into an emotional bliss at times. Even when I don't mean to. Meredith.... I wouldn't want that. |
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BabyGirl1 Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 91Morris, IL |
Beatuiful poem Jay. Since you posted this have you found your dream girl (my sister?) It better not be!!! Just kiddin. One day you will find that special someone to share all of that love you have inside of you and she sure will be a lucky lady. But, if it is my sister, watch your back!! (ha-ha) Love always, BabyGirl1 "We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can fly only by embracing each other." -Luciano de Crescenzo- |
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
I think we all fall sometimes, whether we want to or not is definately a different story. However it's good that you can do that when you are writing, it gives to something to power those creative juices that I know must flow very freely. I really hope to hear more from you!!! Love Always, Shell. Beautiful is empty Beautiful is free Beautiful loves no one Beautiful stripped me ~Beautiful~ ~Creed~ |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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