Teen Poetry #3 |
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Can't Say Goodbye [it would really mean a lot to me if you would read this] |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Hey guys, thank you so much for reading this. Before you read the poem, I should tell you what it's about. Its not as deep as my other stuff because I just wrote it 5 minutes ago. See, I found out 2 days ago that my grandpa only has a few days to live. He'd been sick for a very long time, but this time there's nothing anyone can do for him. So they're not gonna try to save him if anything happens, they just have him in comfort care. My mom told me I can go see him if I want to, but I made the choice not to because I'd rather remember him the way he always was because he was very special to me and we were close and I don't want my last memory of him to be him dying in a hospital. And I think that's the way he would want it too. But making that decision means that I'll never see him again. SO things are very screwed up. And on top of it all, I'm not even sad. How not normal is that? He's come so close to dying so many times that now I'm just relieved that he won't hurt anymore. I don't know. Anyways, sorry for babbling, I'll let you read the poem now. Thank you so much. ~~Kandi/Kris~~ Can't Say Goodbye I saw you start to slip and my soul began to cry But you held on because it wasn't time to say goodbye. You stumbled once again I begged with you to try because I didn't want to lose you, didn't want to say goodbye. A third time you fell, a part of you began to die. But I knew that once again I wouldn't have to say goodbye. Somehow, against all odds you managed to survive Because I wasn't ready to let you out of my life Now your fading away this is the last time, I know And something's different than before I'm feeling myself let go Somewhere in my mind I can tell the end is here Strangely, I feel nothing No pain or grief or fear. Because I know you don't deserve the agony of another day So I won't be selfish and plead with you to stay I have the choice to see you and give you one last kiss But i think that I would rather just leave it as it is Please don't misunderstand and think that I don't love you I just don't want this to be my last memory of you Because right now all I have are the good times from the past. and I can't help but wonder why I let them fly by so fast. I never knew you well Your life is a mystery But that's okay because I know what you were to me Things always went unspoken Your voice was rarely heard All I had to do was look at you Your eyes told me the words It pains me as I realize that I won't see you again My comfort lies in knowing you'll be with me now and then. When i get my licence next month and crash my daddy's car When I graduate from high school you won't be very far When I fall in love when I walk down the aisle When I say "I do" I'll think of you and smile I'll tell my children about the man they never knew and hope in some small ways they'll take after you I know your getting tired I have one last thing to say I love you so much and I'll miss you every day. Don't worry about me I know I'll be alright. It's okay, you can go now. I said goodbye tonight. |
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© Copyright 2000 Kristin - All Rights Reserved | |||
anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
this is a beautiful poem. you really show your concern and love for your grandfather in it and i can relate to it because my grandfather died a couple a years ago after having year and years of heart trouble...but i got through it and so will you. |
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TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa |
This is a wonderful poem. It describes in a way how I feel. My grandad has parcinsance (how eva you spell that) and has been laying in a bed for two years. He doesn't seem to know you when you go, doesn't really talk. I haven't visited him for like a year and a half. I feel bad. I know he is holding on because he is worrying about my gran, though he shouldn't. He once pointed to something and asked her if she could see the door. She didn't see anything, but said yes, then he said he walked through that door but came back for her. I don't know if he will be angry with me, I don't know if God is angry with me, I just don't think I could take it to see him, just skin and bone and I don't even know if he will remember me. Once again, this is a lovely poem, keep up the good stuff, and good luck or the future. Waves...amazing hey? Wind blowing over smoothe ocean water creates shear. The longer the wind blows, and the futher the fetch, the more energy gets transferred from the wind to the water. What started off as a breeze 1 000km away, ends up as a glass-faced barrel at some far off beach. |
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LoveBug![]()
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Oh Kandi, this brought tears to my eyes. I remember when my grandfather died. I was only 5, and he died quite suddenly. They thought I was too young to go to the funeral, and I never got to say goodbye. It always bothered me, but this poem really helped me realize that it might have been better that way. I hope that this poem helped you as much as it helped me. Thank you for sharing it with us. You'll be in my prayers. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Hey guys it's me, Kandi I just wanted to say thank you, not only for reading this poem and replying to it but also for sharing your own stories with me. It helps a lot to know that you guys understand what I'm going through, and I appreciate it more than I can say in words. Reading the replies put a much-needed smile on my face. I've only been a member since yesterday, but I've said it before and I'll say it again: I am sooo glad I joined passions! I hope this poem helped you the way it helped me when I wrote it. You guys are all the best! Much love always~ Kandi/Kris [This message has been edited by Kandi (edited 06-15-2000).] |
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Lucius Cade Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235Saskatchewan |
Please don't misunderstand and think that I don't love you I just don't want this to be my last memory of you "my last memory of you" I am sorry if I disagree with anyone here, but I definitly think you have to go see him. Dont think of yourself in times like this, think of him, dying, alone. He wants to see you and just because you dont want to have that bad memory of him doesnt mean you shouldnt go and make "him" happy before he dies. Think if you knew you were dying, it would mean the world to you if you got to see your grand daughter one last time. I say dont think of yourself, think of him, and go.< !signature--> Lucidity is the answer to all problems [This message has been edited by Lucius Cade (edited 06-15-2000).] |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A |
Kristen. With all of the words and all of the ways that I've learned to say what I want to say.....I could never describe what that poem means to me. With your permission, I'd like to print, put it on my wall and show it to so many people. That is simply the best thing I've read in this forum. Not to insult any of the other talented artists, but that truly captivated me. I can't even explain why or how, but I'm stunned and above all inspired like never before. I actually have a poem that I wrote last year that may compliment your's well. I'm going to post it now..It's called "I Miss You"....if noone else replies, I hope you do at least..it would mean alot. Jeremy D. Halstead "Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade." |
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Snickers Member
since 2000-05-25
Posts 88East Haddam, CT |
Kris, That is so beautiful and unbelievably heartfelt. I'm so sorry that you're losing you grandfather. I know how that can feel. And I even cried when I read this! Are you going to give him the poem? (((((Hugs))))) ~<3 Alwayz~ **Nikki** |
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Crystalina123 Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 228 |
Kris, I cried when I heard read this. My grandfather died when I was little and he had terminal cancer. He wouldn't let me see him one last time b/c he didn't want his "grandbabys" to see him that way. I hope whatever you choose to do is the best decision for you. I'll be thinking of you. Crystal "The worst of what people do to one another is deceive. Because when you love someone you control their version of reality. If you lie to them that's like making them autistic so that what they believe is reality is in fact, not their true situation at all." It's not the angry words that break the heart, it's the silence. Someone said that true love is like a ghost -- often spoke of but never seen. I've seen both and yet in my darkest hours, tend to believe that neither exits. |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
Kris~well, a coule of weeks I lost my grandpa. He was the only grandparent I had left. As for your decision to not go see your grandfather, I understand. But also disagree. My grams was very sick before she died. Suffered immensely, however, she waited until I got to the hospital...She told me that she loved me very much but it was her time. Her father came to her and said that it was time she come with him, she refused and told him she needed more time. When I got to the hospital, we talked by ourselves for a few minutes, she then asked me if it was ok for her to leave. I cried and said yes. She closed her eyes and died in my arms. that may sound morbid, but that woman was my idol for many years and her asking me for permission to leave was very honoring to me. We didn't have an open casket funeral for her because we didn't want everyone to remember her that way as you don't want to remember your grandpa that way. But I also don't remember my grams as the suffering person she was for two years, I remember her aas the strong woman she was--I remember her as my inspiration. The choice is yours. Just think about what your grandpa wants! My heart is with you! Love Always~*~Jessica~*~ ![]() "Love is the product of our discontentment with ourselves." "Bleeding hearts release tears of fire" "work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt,and live everyday as if it's your last" "Shoot for the moon, if you shall fall short, you always have the stars to fall upon" |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Hey guys, me (Kandi) again. I just wanted to update you on some things here. I didn't think my grandpa wanted me to go see him. That's why I wasn't going to: NOT becuz I was being selfish and didn't want to see him suffer but becuz I honestly thought he didn't want me to. But my mom told me that he would probably like it if I went to see him, so I'm going to...tomorrow. ![]() I would REALLY like to thank you ALL for your input, especially those of you who adviced me to think it through more becuz I realized I didn't think about it enough. SO just thought I'd let you know what's going on! Thanx again - you're all my little angels in disguise. Hee hee! Much Love and Hugs Kristin ~*All that I have found in reason is reason just to not believe *~ ~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~ |
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Bunny Junior Member
since 2000-05-13
Posts 30 |
Oh y GOSH! I cannot believe you wrote that in only FIVE minutes! That is INCERDIBLE! I am putting this poems among my absolute favorites, and I think this should be a shoe in for the book this site is printing! This poem brought tears to my eyes and made me wonder about my own relationship with my grandparents. Thanks for posting it! |
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theKUTEone New Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 4 |
This is a very good poem. You are a talented writer. Keep up the good poems!=] |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. This was a very touching poem, if you do go see him, maybe you should show it to him,-- I think he'd like it! Best wishes, Master aka Andre. Check out my poetry here: http://cafepoetry.com/stage1/andrey_kneller.htm#My%20Hamlet |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
I'm glad you went to visit him, I'm sure it meant a lot to him. This would be an incredibly hard poem for me to write, I could never imagine losing someone close to me. Good Job ![]() ~Susie "If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility." ~Henry W |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
well i would like to tell you that is one of the most beautiful poems that i have ever read. it really touched my heart because my grandpa is really sick and he can die at any time. but its hard. i think that you should say goodbye because even though it wont be the best at least you were able to say goodbye. some people arent that lucky to be able to say goodbye. |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
i love this poem it brought tears to my eye's because i've lost all of my grandparents already and i know how it can be but some time you will move on. great poem keep it up. I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
Dear Kandi, i was going to write you about how you should definitely go see your grandpa. although it'd would be the last way you saw him, it most certainly wouldn't be your last way you'd remember him. but you've chosen to go see him, and i'm glad you have. we've all got our demons, right? the only way to beat 'em is to face 'em. and by the by, ths was a well-versed poem, and a great dedication to your grandpa. i hope you let him read it as well. and though i've not read any of your other stuff, this was deep indeed. i dig it. We all got somethin' we need to atone for. |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
Hi Kandi, I have to agree this is very heartfelt...and very honest. I can understand how you feel about your grandpa and yourself...do what you feel happy with... bye. "You could be my unintended Choice, to live my life extended...." Muse "Even when we're apart we'll still be under the same sky," LJ Smith "Hiding in the musty attic is Elusive She sits, cross legged in a midst dark cobwebs Several forms scurry to seek shelter Beneath her levitating shadow. Her back rigid , eyes glassy Gazes intently at time escaping Sliding, smoothly, as sand sprinkles Through the hour glass, A single tear grazes her misty cheek." Lani |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Hey~ Well, that was a really good poem. It kinda hits too close to home though. My Grandpa died almost a year ago(June 22nd), and I know what it's like to lose someone. I know that watching him die in the hospital was one of the hardest things i have ever been through, but that if i hadn't gone I would have regreted it for a long long time. It will get better, believe me. Good luck to you and your grandpa. Bel |
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sweettalker24 New Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 4 |
I lost a really good friend on satruday of the 10th of June, ANd this poem makes me feel that pain like i did. It's very good Kris, You write very good poems. They are how can i put this magnificante, muah! they are all good and if you publish these some good work will bve made and maybe make a booklet of it as greatest peotry, put this one in the number one spot and keep it up |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Kandy, You made my heart stop for a second there. This poem is sooooo beautiful. I felt the same way when my grandpa passed. I too was very close to him -- I actually was his favorite grandchild. Every pic I had when I was little was always beside him. The difference between you and me though is I wanted to be there but I wasn't. It broke my heart that I wasn't able to say goodbye to him personally. I never thought that seeing him there on his death bed would haunt me or stay as my last memories of him. I knew I'd remember only the good times I had with him. Usually, a person remembers the good times spent with the they love. But that's your decision to make. I do look forward to reading your other poems. Thanks for sharing this one. P.S. make sure you don't wreck your daddy's car ![]() |
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kaile![]() ![]()
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
such a powerfully moving poem...tugged at my heartstrings lots... can identify with your feelings real well...i had a close relative once who was close to dying...while feeling shattered, i actually felt relieved and a little bit of joy cos i knew he wouldnt have to suffer anymore i dont know whether we are morbid and callous to feel this way but i guess what i want to say is that you are not alone...Others have felt the same way before ![]() hoping that your visit with ur grandpa went well ![]() ![]() |
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branden726![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
![]() "put the name of the person u love, not in a heart because they alway break but put it in a circle which last forever" |
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Slim Junior Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 49Kentucky, USA |
i can only imagine what it must feel like to be in your position. this poem is a very good reflection of your relationship with your grandfather and the importance he is to your life. it makes me think of how close i am with certain people and the effect they have had on my life. thanx for sharing this.. though it has a specific meaning... i think it means something to others out there too. hang in there. Slim "just because you dont know it or havent seen it, doesnt mean it isnt possible" |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A |
Hey chick!! Remeber me!!!? I was just thinking about this poem and boom, I drop into passions (which I left sometime ago) to print out some stuff and here it is! I'm gonna print this out, too. Jeremy |
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Words_of_Glitter Member
since 2000-10-25
Posts 90USA |
This poem was so great. It was also very sad and I could practically feel the heartbreak. I'm very and truly sorry for your loss. I've never known one as painful as this. poetry is a great outlet and it's good that you're using it as one because this was a masterpiece. |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Omigosh...you guys! I am sooo moved beyond words right now! I can't believe this poem has come back all of a sudden - no one has replied to it for so long. I want to personally thank you all for bringing it back. This poem means the most to me out of everything I've ever written. When I wrote it, all I wanted was to get my own feelings out. I never expected the kind of response it has got, but your stories and thoughts and kind words are so overwhelming. Thank you, everyone....you don't know how much the things you say about this poem mean to me. Love ya all! ![]() ~Kandi~ ~~"People tend to leave behind little pieces of themselves, whether they mean to or not."~~ ~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~ ~All that I have found in reason is reason just to not believe.~ |
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