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Teen Poetry #3
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Homeless
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Homeless |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Ugh! Okay, the writers block has definitely settled in, and as a result, I will only be writing poetry worse than it is under normal conditions. lol. Vreni p.s. Any title suggestions? Hark! Perceive of this poor haggardly bum! I'm not a criminal, as is the opinion of some. I am homeless, a vagabond, one with the street You do not see me though our eyes do meet. Yes, trust your vision, I am hungry and cold But human under threadbare clothes of old. Once I possessed my dignity and pride Now I survive on what donations provide. Alas, you walk on, pretend you don't see Deaf ears do tune out my imploring pleas. Perhaps if my existence you decline to admit It would allow your conscience to benefit. You conceive of yourself as benevolent Your intention and actions indeed well meant. But tightly you grip the change in your fingers, Hesitantly the guilt in your mind does linger. Quickly you sweep the thoughts beneath the rug, Rationalizing your act, you continue on, smug. "It is not my duty to be concerned for the poor, After all, isn't that what everyone else is for?" |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Wow..writer's block? If this is the way you write during writers block, that was the best case ever  . Great work!~Susie "If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility." ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Driftwood" |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Wow. Very thought provoking. It is so true that we all think "someone else" will do what needs to be done. Bu the funny thing is WE are "someone else" to someone else...if that makes sense. Ummm...yeah, writers's block??? lol. If thats what writers block can do, can I have some??? Much Love 4 ya Kandi/Kris |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
WRITERS BLOCK? ok, so you wanna share the wealth? lol. I personally love this poem!! I actually love all your work. You have a unique way of putting your words into a world of vision. Keep up the "writer's block" Love Always ~*~Jessica~*~  "Love is the product of our discontentment with ourselves." "Bleeding hearts release tears of fire" "work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt,and live everyday as if it's your last" "Shoot for the moon, if you shall fall short, you always have the stars to fall upon" |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
The truth? I've seen better from you, but this one is also good... It needs some work here and there to make it sound a bit better, but the imagery is good! Just my two cents, Master |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Angel and Kandi, thanks for the compliments! And Star - Vreni |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
I agree with everyone....this is absolutely great and you get yourself across as well as you always do. This is exactly what we were discussing in school a couple of years ago...people's reactions to the homeless. Very well put. p.s don't THINK of writer's block, it's all in the MIND...i know i've said this before! "You could be my unintended Choice, to live my life extended...." Muse "Even when we're apart we'll still be under the same sky," LJ Smith "Hiding in the musty attic is Elusive She sits, cross legged in a midst dark cobwebs Several forms scurry to seek shelter Beneath her levitating shadow. Her back rigid , eyes glassy Gazes intently at time escaping Sliding, smoothly, as sand sprinkles Through the hour glass, A single tear grazes her misty cheek." Lani |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Kandi- thanks for the compliments! LOL, I'll try not to think about the writers block, and maybe it will disappear. (kind of like the "if I don't acknowledge it it doesn't exist" type deal, right? lol) Thanks again for replying! Vreni |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Well, i've decided to go back to the first posts in teen poetry#3, and i saw one of your poems. You already know how much I love your writing, so here I am. I can only say one thing.....WOW!!! I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Wow, this is from a while ago! I think it's good, I'll have to agree with Master here, there could be a few improvemnets, but it's really good anyway "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Oooooooo one i haven't read hehehe.......nice one vreni.....i've seen better bet still better than a lot on here. Wonderful job.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
your "bad" is writing is good so that makes your good writing great! i liked this one a lot.. i try to help the needy when possible ~JDR "A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis |
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