Teen Poetry #3 |
![]() ![]() |
Accusation |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina ![]() |
Simple Trusting Honest Me Shady Scheming Rotten You Broken Drowning Hopeless We Over Finished Final Through *Ok, I wrote this one recently, and I thought it was a refreshing change from my usual dark, complicated poems. If y'all think this sucks, tell me, I can take it. Peace out! It's so obvious That the promise Keeps me here Painting pictures where All the colors Disappear *Lit |
||
© Copyright 2000 Meredith - All Rights Reserved | |||
amazon_lover Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491Dublin,Ireland |
Clear and simple as you. Shady , scheming I know this too well. Sometimes I wish my ex gf was simple enough to speak out but I guess she's busy planting the seeds for her next scheme. take care A_L |
||
LoveBug![]()
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This doesn't "suck" at all! This is a wonderfully written piece, you speak volumes with only a few words. Keep up the good work! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde "The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea |
||
TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa |
This surely doesn't suck! I like it, it's short and sweet, and it gets the message through. Great poem. Waves...amazing hey? Wind blowing over smoothe ocean water creates shear. The longer the wind blows, and the futher the fetch, the more energy gets transferred from the wind to the water. What started off as a breeze 1 000km away, ends up as a glass-faced barrel at some far off beach. |
||
TAP2 Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 211Morris, Il USA |
Simple and short it spoke more than just mere lines. Beautifully conveyed stream of thought. If it were a book submission, it would get my vote. Thomas A. Plemmons "I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss The Dance" -Garth Brooks- |
||
Martini Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 308Toronto, Ontario, Canada |
excellent poetry I don't think "suck" could ever describe a piece such as this. You were able to express fully how you felt by using minimal words wonderful job |
||
LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
Thanks guys, I appreciate your comments. Love ya! *~Meredith~* It's so obvious That the promise Keeps me here Painting pictures where All the colors Disappear *Lit |
||
Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
||
![]() ![]() |
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |