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Teen Poetry #3
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Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

0 posted 2000-07-08 06:04 AM




I wrote this for my friend Andrea about her writing.


Her Work      

The pure and simple excretions of the heart
pouring from the mind.
The morbidly honest life depicted but in vein
can be the words to find.
Every sylable of every chicken scratch
placed like magic spells,
creating the art that is so perfect
to someone painting hell.
On and on, top to bottom, left then to the rigth
her wand, her pen, shall jerk.
Composing music to those who feel her pain-
she's living in her work.

Jeremy D. Halstead     1-4-00
< !signature-->

"Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade."


[This message has been edited by Jeremy Halstead (edited 07-08-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Jeremy D. Halstead - All Rights Reserved
Chel
Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511
Baltimore, MD, USA
1 posted 2000-07-08 08:19 AM


Jeremy, that was very beautiful.  I am very glad to see that, you saw all of that in someones work.  Keep up the good work.

Chel

"True friends stab you in the front"
"Always do your best, you will always succeed"

TAP2
Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 211
Morris, Il USA
2 posted 2000-07-09 11:24 AM


This person sounds like she has some problems. you depicted her conflict very well.

Thomas

Jacman
Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291
Dwight Il, US
3 posted 2000-07-09 04:18 PM


Hey jer, I havn't had the chance yet to read andrea's work, but I know that she is a great person who has alot of problems.  You did an excellent job at depicting her.  Especially since I know her.  See you tonight.

jason

TearsOfPearls
Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa
4 posted 2000-07-09 04:25 PM


This is a beautiful poem, though there is some words my simple mind don't register the first time.

She is lucky to have a friend like you, standing by her.

Keep on writing these excellent poems.

Waves...amazing hey? Wind blowing over smoothe ocean water creates shear. The longer the wind blows, and the futher the fetch, the more energy gets transferred from the wind to the water. What started off as a breeze 1 000km away, ends up as a glass-faced barrel at some far off beach.

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
5 posted 2000-07-09 05:20 PM


well jeremy what can i say...this is truly beautiful...its to bad that we are so far away from each other...cuz i really would like to have a friend like you...besides on the computer...shes one lucky person to have you in her life...keep up the good work...

~IF YOU WANT SOMETHING VERY BADLY~SET IT FREE~IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU~ITS YOURS FOREVER~IF IT DOESNT IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH~

buttercup411
Junior Member
since 2000-07-03
Posts 41
miami, fl, u.s
6 posted 2000-07-09 05:24 PM


this is a very stong piece...most people express their poetry through writting...love the way you put words together...
Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
7 posted 2000-07-09 11:22 PM


well Jeremy i had to vote cause its for a friend. i like this one alot as well and do keep it up. and to you i know that you will help her out because you are a great friend to me and you have never met me and you know her so i know you will help her out maybe even get her on here and well all help her.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-


April Resi
Member
since 1999-10-18
Posts 119
Alabama
8 posted 2000-07-10 02:10 AM


I'm glad she has someone like you as a friend to help when you can.
Are you ever gonna write anything I don't like???? (smiles) I doubt it. Once again, a wonderful piece, and I'm dying to hear more!
April

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
9 posted 2000-07-10 08:59 PM


Good Work! I know that when writing about a friend, things come straight from the heart. I know nothing of the girl that this is about, I just know that if she does have such conflict in her life, a friend like you is neccesary.
Jenn (got my vote)

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
10 posted 2007-12-01 10:52 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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