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Jose Marti
Member

since 2000-07-01

Posts 374
washing DC

0 posted 2000-07-07 02:47 PM

I arrived today in my homeland.
I stepped off of the plane,
breathed the warm Carribean air
and instantly thought of you.

I walked among the coconuts,
palms trees, and
seibas
and thought of you.

I visited the old Spanish castiles,
the marble,
the granite,
the cannons
and I thought of you.

I went to the beach and
while walking along the white sands,
while bathing in the clear waters,
I thought of you.

On the way bck into the city,
I had a confrontation with
some of the dictator's troops,
and I was arrested.

That night thet took out into the countryside.
We went into a bright green sugarcane field.
They shot me.

I died thinking of you.

BGirl_Princess
New Member

since 2000-06-25

Posts 7
Burlington, Ontario, Canada

1 posted 2000-07-07 02:57 PM

Wow! This poem is a different style which makes it stand out. I really like your use of words, like how you desribe the "bright green sugarcane feild". Keep up the good work, I'll be looking for more of your poems!

-Tina aka BGirl_Princess

~The world only hurts you because it can. You mustn't simply allow it to, you must put up a fight.~

-*Tina a.k.a. BGirl_Princess*

Erin
Member Elite

since 2000-06-15

Posts 2527
~Chicago~

2 posted 2000-07-07 03:58 PM

damn jose this was very well written...i give you props for this poem...you know that you have my vote...

~IF YOU WANT SOMETHING VERY BADLY~SET IT FREE~IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU~ITS YOURS FOREVER~IF IT DOESNT IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH~

Jose Marti
Member

since 2000-07-01

Posts 374
washing DC

3 posted 2000-07-07 05:21 PM

Thanks for reading my poem. I'm glad you two liked it. Thanks Tina, thanks Erin

Chel
Senior Member

since 2000-07-01

Posts 511
Baltimore, MD, USA

4 posted 2000-07-07 07:48 PM

Hey there, I loved the poem. You are so sweet. I hope you tell this person how you feel and I hope everything works out.

Luv always
Michelle

"True friends stab you in the front"
"Always do your best, you will always succeed"

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

5 posted 2000-07-08 11:50 AM

Wow ... what a twist at the ending Jose! Very well done!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Jose Marti
Member

since 2000-07-01

Posts 374
washing DC

6 posted 2000-07-08 01:06 PM

Thanks guys, I'm glad you liked it.
I wrote it at two in the morning, while thinking of a special someone

The_Driven
Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 60

7 posted 2000-08-06 01:09 PM

Interesting twist poem, kinda sad though, but a good poem nonetheless

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

8 posted 2000-08-06 03:35 PM

This is a great poem keep up the great work!
Lauren

Salooma
Senior Member

since 2000-01-28

Posts 781

9 posted 2000-08-06 11:14 PM

another great post jose....i love the way you portray you're home in each one, it makes them unique. i wish i could do that.
you've got my vote def...good luck...keep em coming!

salooma

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