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Teen Poetry #3
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Jacman
Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291
Dwight Il, US

0 posted 2000-07-06 12:41 PM


When you think she is forgotten
you remember her.
When your mind is frozen in the world
you remember her.
When time keeps flying by,
it stops for her.
When your heart is cold and hard,
it beats for her.
When all of your emotions run dry,
they flood for her.


Any one who has tried to get over a lost love knows exactly how I felt when writing this.

© Copyright 2000 Jason Allen Carmen - All Rights Reserved
TAP2
Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 211
Morris, Il USA
1 posted 2000-07-06 02:37 PM


We all have a place in our heart that a special someone has taken and broken. And though we try to forget, she haunts our every waking moment. I feel for you.

TAP2

Chel
Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511
Baltimore, MD, USA
2 posted 2000-07-06 02:44 PM


Jason, I love your work.  I enjoy reading it very much.  I know the feeling in the poem, but its usually not the girl for me.  I hope to read more.

Chel

"True friends stab you in the front"

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

3 posted 2000-07-06 07:23 PM


I know exactly what you're going through, Jason. This applies to me exactly. (except you would have to change "her" to "him"   ) This is a beautiful piece, my friend. < !signature-->

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea


[This message has been edited by LoveBug (edited 07-06-2000).]

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2000-07-06 08:13 PM


Wonderful poem Jackman ... many of us know this feeling you've described so beautifully!  Well done!

Best wishes,
/Kit

BabyGirl1
Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 91
Morris, IL
5 posted 2000-07-06 09:50 PM


Another beautiful poem.  I am sorry for breaking your heart.  It's just that Tom got to it first    Just Kidding.  You show such great emotions in this poem.  Keep your head up high because you'll find that one true love one day.
Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A
6 posted 2000-07-07 05:38 AM


can you say.....LINDSEY!!!!!  Sorry, that wasn't aimed at you man...but I couldn't get her out of my head while reading this.  Jason, you truly are the deepest writer I know...this is a perfect example.

Jeremy

"Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade."

StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
7 posted 2000-07-07 02:21 PM


oh Jason! I'm so sorry you have had to bare this pain!! I know all too damn well how it is to try and get over someone. You spend every waking hour missing them and thinking about them, hoping that one day things will work out again, when the harsh reality is that the odds are against you. You try and yell yourself you are moving on but in all actuality, you aren't very close at all. Keepp your head up my friend! I promise your heart will heal eventually and the storm clouds will part! Love Ya! Love Always~*~Jess~*~

~*~My fire is dead,it knew no pain; yet it is dead and I remain: All stiff with ice ashes lie;and they are dead, and I will die~*~

FlipAngel
Junior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 46
Prior Lake, MN, USA
8 posted 2000-07-07 02:38 PM


I absolutely loved this poem... :sigh : I know exactly how that feels!  You description of this very powerful emotion was written extremely well AND accurate.

~Rachel~

~*Yesterday is gone, let go of the past; tommorrow will bring new hope to grasp*~

LyricFetish
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
9 posted 2000-07-07 02:58 PM


Yeah, I've definately been here before. It's hard, I completely agree w/ you. Very effective writing, great style, heated emotion. You're awesome.

*~Meredith~*

I am none but the angel
Who sings you to sleep
As you pray to God
Your soul to keep
*Me

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
10 posted 2007-12-01 10:38 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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