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Candy
Junior Member

since 2000-01-24

Posts 17

0 posted 2000-07-06 01:25 AM

Your soul torn inside
Cryptic tears of nothing trouble the days
Black cold echos the sin of hidden grief
Blood seeps throuh cracked white ice as my world ends

Erin
Member Elite

since 2000-06-15

Posts 2527
~Chicago~

1 posted 2000-07-06 01:46 AM

well candy this is the first poem that i have read by you...and i must say that i like it...and i would really like to see more of your work...but what do you mean as you say your world ends???< !signature-->

~IF YOU WANT SOMETHING VERY BADLY~SET IT FREE~IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU~ITS YOURS FOREVER~IF IT DOESNT IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH~

[This message has been edited by ERIN (edited 07-06-2000).]

Candy
Junior Member

since 2000-01-24

Posts 17

2 posted 2000-07-06 01:56 AM

thanks for the reply. what i meant by my world ends is how i felt when my boyfriend broke up with me he was my world. This is a poem about how i felt at the moment. Im not really a depressed person.

Candy

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

3 posted 2000-07-06 05:16 AM

The metaphorical bliss and descriptive dancing of your words are something to be admired. Maybe you should post a little more often.

Jeremy

"Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade."

Lucius Cade
Member

since 2000-03-23

Posts 235
Saskatchewan

4 posted 2000-07-06 05:35 AM

Well for a "not depressed person" you were able to express that one moment of feeling to perfection in this poem. I loved it.

Lucidity is the answer to all problems

Danny Holloway
Member Elite

since 2000-01-15

Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK

5 posted 2000-07-06 10:09 AM

Interesting poem you have written here. On the dark side for sure, but a good example of your writing ability.

A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives.

Wren
Member

since 2000-07-05

Posts 312

6 posted 2000-07-06 10:56 AM

I just adore apocoliptic poems! I applaud you!

TAP2
Member

since 2000-06-29

Posts 211
Morris, Il USA

7 posted 2000-07-06 11:22 AM

I Love it! We all touch our dark side every now and then, check out "Jekyll and Hyde".
Poetic beauty is defined greatly in this piece. Let us see some more.

TAP2

Candy
Junior Member

since 2000-01-24

Posts 17

8 posted 2000-07-06 02:07 PM

Thank you very much for the replys. it means alot to me

Candy

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

9 posted 2007-12-01 10:32 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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