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Teen Poetry #3
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Opium Dreams
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Opium Dreams |
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sorrowfulangel Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 59Memphis,TN |
I feel myself float upon the softest of clouds whisps of smoke reach into the depths of my mind thoughts i had long ago forgotten awaken from their death like slumber hazy outlines of you the gentle tone of your voice the bluest of skies I once found in your eyes ghostly pictures of what I used to know now haunting my existance I can still feel your work calloused hands the feathery way they calmed my tears your tender kiss still burns on my lips from a time so long ago it seems that you are near me your breathe a warm caress on my neck soaring to new heights upon a pearl colored cloud Recalled to reality stepping from my daze I can still taste the bitter-sweet smoke how much it reminds me of you and my opium dreams "god is the biggest under-achiever I know,something good happens god is great,something bad happens,he now works in mysterious ways" |
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| © Copyright 2000 Chelsie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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AndrewDL Junior Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 24California |
A beautiful poem. Your use of words is great. The line: "ghostly pictures of what I used to know" is beautiful. The word "ghostly" beautifully emphasizes the death what you "used to know." The use of alliteration on the "s" sound in the line: "I can still taste the bitter-sweet smoke" makes the movement of the poem flow very gingerly. Great work, keep it up. -Andrew Trust too much, and you may be deceived, but trust too little and you will live in torment forever. |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A |
AAAHHHH...I've had a shadow cast upon me. The shadow of your writing, I dwell beneath...if only for a day. This poem had a lot of qualities that I like...vocab, fluidness, expression...oh yeah, so you loved a workin man kinda guy? I can appreciate that since that's all I do is lay callouses upon my hands from work. Jeremy "Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade." |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wonderfully descriptive writing SorrowfulAngel! The flow is beautifully dreamy and mystical ... keep up the great work! Best wishes, /Kit |
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DJLI Member
since 2000-06-21
Posts 237TN, USA |
lets smoke a hooter!!! as always, your writing is beautiful and inspiring. lets do lunch.< !signature--> if you don't like the message, don't kill the messenger. [This message has been edited by DJLI (edited 07-05-2000).] |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Very beautiful and whistful work here...keep it up!  *Krista Knutson* "We are not seperate from spirit, we are in it." ~Plotinus~ |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
Hey there, this poem was beautiful and very well written. Keep up the good work. Luv always, Chel "True friends stab you in the front" |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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