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Jacman
Member

since 2000-06-27

Posts 291
Dwight Il, US

0 posted 2000-07-04 05:09 PM

Fleeting sun, daytime ending
brings on the night.
Open my eyes, see the starlight.
beauty and spleandor.
Diamonds fixed in the sky,
sparkling wonders of the abyss.
Things to see, but never touch.
Daylight comes, and again I sleep.
All the spleandor of the night
moves along to bring the light.
With eyes closed, I dream of you.
I've no care for the passing hours,
Sparkling starlets decorate my dreams.
Slipping through the beautiful scenes

I see you.

This world which I have created
revolves around you.
I reach out my hand
to try and touch you.
but I can't; for you
are just like the stars.

StarPryncess17
Senior Member

since 2000-05-31

Posts 932
Colorado

1 posted 2000-07-04 05:17 PM

Oh Jason, I know all too well how you feel! My dear friend, I hope to hear differently soon! I'm sorry that this person is so out of reach, but maybe it's for the better, everything happens for a reason my dear. As you like to call it fate, I just call it destiny. Keep up the faith my friend! Love Always~*~Jess~*~

~*~Love is the product of our dicontentment with ourselves~*~
~*~SMILE! It makes your butt shine!~*~

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

2 posted 2000-07-04 07:33 PM

I love the analogy in the poem...the whole thing builds itself towards the last lines where anyone reading becomes captivated. great job...again

Jeremy

"Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade."

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

3 posted 2000-07-05 05:47 AM

Oh, this is just lovely Jacman! Beautiful imagery and sentiments, dreamy and mystical ... you show a wonderful talent here, keep up the great writing!

Best wishes,
/Kit

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

4 posted 2000-07-05 11:50 AM

Wow... this is beautiful! I love the metaphor between your dream and the stars. I can relate to this very well. Keep up the good work!

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea

Chel
Senior Member

since 2000-07-01

Posts 511
Baltimore, MD, USA

5 posted 2000-07-05 12:32 PM

This was very very good. I loved it. I also liked the analogies and metaphors in the poem. Keep up the good work.

Chel

"True friends stab you in the front"

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member

since 2000-06-08

Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S

6 posted 2000-07-06 12:20 PM

yes this is a very good poem and i enjoyed it very much. and i hope that you keep it up forever. and with the words you write i'm becoming a fan.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-

BabyGirl1
Member

since 2000-07-02

Posts 91
Morris, IL

7 posted 2000-07-06 12:56 PM

Great poem, as always! I knew that your world revolved around me! Just kidding.
Love Always,
Baby Girl1

TAP2
Member

since 2000-06-29

Posts 211
Morris, Il USA

8 posted 2000-07-06 11:41 AM

Jason,
Wonderfully penned. I stand in awe of your grace. How can you ever presume that I am better than you? I laugh at your insecure delusions. Step up to the pedestal you've put me on, you belong here.

TAP2

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

9 posted 2007-12-01 10:31 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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