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Teen Poetry #3
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Art (senryu)
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Art (senryu) |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg 
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(I mentioned earlier that I write a senryu every morning, to unwind. I wrote this one today, and it seemed worthy of sharing with you. ^_^) All your fancy lies staining the walls of my den still you call it art [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 01-09-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
beautiful... wouldnt this be a senyru? as dopey dope corrected me, haikus are about nature... im not sure art is nature, but i can see some relation anyways, this haiku was great... i really liked the mysteriousness ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
That's what I said-- Senryu.  [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 01-09-2001).] |
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Author Unknown Member
since 2001-01-05
Posts 57Linn MO USA |
pretty interesting way to put it, good job though *dont let life bring you down, dig thru the ditches and deck it in the face and reclaim your place*---Kyle Finn....2001 |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
You did a really good job of writing this, senryus and haikus are cool  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Looking at your post history, Lakewalker, i see that you also enjoy Haikus and Senryus. I love the restriction of three lines and seventeen syllables. It makes you really work for words. Restrictions always bring out the best in me. Yours are very excellent, may I say? I especially like 2:24. I write a few poems from insomnia... all the Senryu thinking must have put you right away. For the sake of knowing, did you sleep that night? I will continue to write a senryu every day. I'll share all of my best with all of you. I hope that you do the same, Lakewalker. Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Ok this was amazing. Wonderful senryu! I loved it. Very very very good Allan. I'm impressed.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Yes amazing... Quite good. I think I just gained a new respect for senyru. I never liked them much because I never seen much done with them, but this one is great it makes me want to try them again. "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Great work in the 17 sylabols... I am not sure if I could ever do that and get something which makes sense!! Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Allan: Nice piece of writing here. I love writing with restrictions too. It challenges you more...and with such a short attention span like mine, that can be nothing but good. Working with seventeen syllables sounds like fun. Maybe I'll give it a try. ~AF~ "Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement." Christopher Fry |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
You know, I'm gonna be honest with you, I didn't even have trouble sleeping at all that night. It was about 11:30ish if I remember right, and I wrote it about other nights when I just lay in bed trying to get to sleep but it just doesn't happen. I was thinking of what time would be good to write for the poem and 2:24 just seemed catchy to me So now you know the story behind that one. Thank you for the complement, I haven't written any senryus or haikus in a long time. I guess I could try to start again, and maybe post some for everyone I think that it's great that you write these everyday, that's another thing that I should probably start doing "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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