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Teen Poetry #3
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Dance
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Dance |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg 
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A puppet does a dance a mesmerizing scene inflicting such a trance come watch the puppet dance A mask emits a smile a smile of total fear he marches every mile whilst cloaked within a smile A child confesses love before this it has known looking far above for an elder one to love A beast emits a tear for all he has endured and there are none who hear the falling of the tear A man creates a life of fiction, weaved with words with this he picks a wife with whom to start his life And none dare question why of all the men on earth each word is just a lie there is no reason why |
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| © Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
-seems as if the 1st and 2nd paragraphs are a trance to make people believe this mans happy -3rd and 4th paragraphs portray a cry for help to a parent or mentor, but are left unheard... -so the man creates a false life to try and grasp some happiness.. Am I right? first try at analyzing a poem.... Anyways, i really liked this one allan, great rhyming and repetition. ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Author Unknown Member
since 2001-01-05
Posts 57Linn MO USA |
good one this is, i agree with dude up there *dont let life bring you down, dig thru the ditches and deck it in the face and reclaim your place*---Kyle Finn....2001 |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hmm... Great interperetations, but not what I intended. |
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curlygurly Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276USA |
Great poem. Btw, how would you interpret it?  Curly "Well if you just close your eyes and just imagine everything's alright you should not hide your tears cuz they were sent to wash away those years" |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Let's wait and see what everyone else thinks. Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy. |
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Mandi Junior Member
since 2001-01-06
Posts 19Chicago |
Simply Wonderful poem allen you actually sound like someone i know, but anyway. I know i am most likely wrong on this one but here is how i analyzed it. I believe that the first paragraph is telling how this person mezmorizes people into believeing he is something he is not. And once everyone starts to believe this he then only wishes to be himself. Then it almost sounds like he will smile to cover how he truly feels inside. lonely perhaps and wishing to be loved. So he reaches for love. He cries because he knows that this is not what he wanted and he loves this person for all the wrong reasons. He then takes a wife to try to cover up the mistake he made before. And he thinks to himself that he doesnt understand why he made all of these lies because he is unhappy in the end. Well thats what i got out of it. Tell me what you really tried to mean because i know i am way off here. Thank you for the poem and the deep thought you gave me because of it. Wonderful job |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
To me this sounds like a child was pushed to getting married and move on with his life. So to him he is like a puppet and his parents are the ones holding the strings. He fears what he may be forced into. And he ends up loving before he should have and cries but no one hears because they dont see that it bothers him because he makes them believe everything is ok and his parents try to make him believe everything is alright also. And in the end he doesnt know why his parents did this to him and lied. i know im wrong but wanted a shot anyway.. GREAT POEM!!!! loved it. keep posting |
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Stephanya Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 63Berkshire County~USA~ |
Okay, so I'm not even about to try to guess! Alan will you just tell us?! (:***stephani***:) "A true friend will always stay a friend whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end." .. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
some regulars have yet to look... and I'm worried about disappointing you all ^_^ hehehe it's MUCH simpler than you realize, and there is one profound mistake that you are all making in your interperetations. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
A puppet can't dance a Child can't claim love a beast can't emit a tear a mask can't smile a man can't create a life It's all not true....and nobody questions why. Does this mean that people just accept what seems to be, rather than question and find out what truly IS?  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
you are on the right track, DD. That observation is not an empty one. This was the device I used for communicating the fact that each of these individuals was lying. Yes, these are each individuals, each important people in my life. Not one person as you all thought. This poem was about the most signifigant lies that have ever been told to me, or that I have been witness to and how obvious it was that they were lying. I didn't leave myself out-- paragraph five is about me. I was summarizing that, of everything on earth, so many lies exist, and we don't bother to question them. If a beast is crying, we let down our guard and it attacks. This poem was written with my own perspective in mind. To "dance" is to lie. I'll leave it to your imagination what the identities of the others were. Thanks for taking this small piece so out-of-proportion. Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy. |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
well, seeing as everyone else already analyzed it, saying the exact same thing..i'll just agree Great work*dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
CRAP... I'm late... And I read the replies before I delved into it. I did kinda notice how each verse was a different story, and I figured they were all linked together by a single thruth or charecteristic, but like I said then I read the replies and lost all the fun. But great post. Lots of symbolism and such.. I think the title is good. I can see how dancing can represent lies. But whatever, Nice read, thanks Jason< !signature--> "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ [This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 01-10-2001).] |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
I was late too Isgona, don't worry... Great work Allan, you have done well and I can see what you are saying!! Love Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Well I'm even later, but I think you did a good job on it. It's usually fun reading how others interpret your poem differently "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Thanks for the replies. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hmmmmm...interesting, Mister Riverwood. A bit less complex than seen at first glance. Uh, you're welcome. ~Carly "Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears." ~Kahil Gibran |
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