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peanogrl83
Member

since 1999-12-04

Posts 202

0 posted 2001-01-07 09:58 PM

Disgusting work. My apologies.
Vreni

The Fate Effect

Loathed scars see
    Naked nights
Victim’s mind has no rights.
Flower petals of
    Dying days
Duty’s lie runs astray.
Crippled mass of
    Twisted fights
Unaware of future plights.
Berserker’s blood of
    Sordid craze
Synchronized with lunar phase.
Demons take your
    Laughter’s soul
Endemic soot of hellish coal.
Soaking through with
    Total dread
Cold rewards left unsaid.
Fear resorts to
    Iron patrol
Hate it’s efforts does extol.
Passion’s floor-bound,
     Laying dead.
Truthful edict, left unread.

IsGona
Senior Member

since 2000-07-14

Posts 723

1 posted 2001-01-07 10:37 PM

Wow you are amazing. I feel I'm not completely grasping this one though. IT was a beautiful read but I'm just unable to link it all together. I'm going to read it again later. Oh and since you have such an enormous vocabulary I will define the words I looked up to save others time.

Berserker - a fierce warrior who fought in battle with frenzied violence and fury.

Endemic - prevalent in or particular locality or ppl. I think this is the definition you intended. (???)

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

2 posted 2001-01-07 10:48 PM

thanks isgona...
you really have to disect the poem to find out the true meanig..
its not evident to me but im sure its detechtable to others
great poem tho!
best wishes

~JDR

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

3 posted 2001-01-08 08:03 AM

Vreni, i would enjoy your poetry a lot more if you would give up the neverending self-bashing before each one!
Once again we all learn a few new words. Thanks for the thought.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-01-08 12:25 PM

#5

This was another great one vreni. A new style to fully enjoy! Me likes.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

5 posted 2001-01-09 12:38 PM

Well, there were 3 words I didn't know and two were difined in a reply. Your writing is very good, please keep them coming!

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

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