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Teen Poetry #3
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Fallen Star
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Fallen Star |
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Will DeVore Junior Member
since 2001-01-01
Posts 12Weddington, NC, USA |
When a star falls There is pressure Applied to the world That one person Great as may seem outwardly Feels such torture inside That star Falling brightly with a Burning, rage-fueled passion Darkness consumes His every graceless Movement through life A beautiful sight to see As it flies through the night Aflame with its simplicity Sadly he has convinced Himself of his own Complete purposelessness If only one person looked Into the sky with Full Understanding At last he finds himself Trudging through life As if his feet were bound That person would see the star's True purpose in its Collision course with Destiny Nothing can be said or done To make him feel better Or to relieve his burden That persons eyes follow The star's long history Of depressed travel Saddest of all He doesn't realize the Goodness of his own heart Only after a true epiphany Those who watched the star Would fall down and weep 1/7/01 06:23 -= Will =- |
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| © Copyright 2001 Will DeVore - All Rights Reserved | |||
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Thank you for letting us read this. It was truly great. I know what this feels like... That one person Great as may seem outwardly Feels such torture inside Please keep posting. ~Carly |
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Bright_Eyes Junior Member
since 2000-12-22
Posts 29Plymouth, MN |
Thank you for sharing this poem, it is lovely. My favorite parts were: "Collision course with Destiny" and "Only after a true epiphany/ Those who watched the star/ Would fall down and weep" These lines made me want to weep for the sheer beauty of this poem. Wonderful! Can't wait for more! |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
I agree with carly and bright eyes. This is wonderful and they picked some of my favorite parts which you can see is pretty much the whole poem. Great job. Jason "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I like the way you wrote this, it's really good. The beginning caught my attention well, nice writing  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well hey this was a nice poem. I liked it. Very nice.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
I applaud you, Will... *hugs* -Tier |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Will, I told you so!!!!!you write so well! cmon admit it!lol.. it was very captivatng! i cant for more!more!more! god im hyper....lol i feel talkative.... well ill talk to u later Regina Great poem! |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
"If only one person looked Into the sky with Full Understanding Only after a true epiphany Those who watched the star Would fall down and weep" This is a very beautiful piece. You are a star, my friend, and I hope you realize what you are. Thanks for sharing. "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
wow, cant say much more about this, it was really good. cant wait til I read another by you. keep it up ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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GirlsBestFriend Member
since 2000-12-27
Posts 71Planet Earth |
absolutely nice one. let's say starting from the eyes-catching title to last word written.... "If only one person looked Into the sky with Full Understanding" I loved this part so much. keep it on. ~lotsa luv "Isn't it funny how to the world you are nothing? But then to one person..you're the world" |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Wow... this poem is great. I'm not going to disgrace it with my words... because it has rendered me speechless. Truly great. Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy. |
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