»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #3
»
The Demons Secret
| Teen Poetry #3 |
|
The Demons Secret |
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico 
|
NOTE: Ok this is kinda complex......3 characters in the poem. 1. The Demon 2. The narrator who lives out the story 3. The guy the narrator is speaking to giving advice. OK so yea......the message is kinda deep but not too deep and hardly any symbolism.....but let's see what you get from this......kinda longer than usual, but the true readers will flow through the whole thing. Enjoy! The Demons Secret: A shadow enhancing the soul. The demon of demons told Me a secret long ago. One that you should surely know. It's short, but complex in all meaning. So pay attention to finally bring Sense to your life of heart break days. Pay attention is all I say. Red with passion, he leaned to my ear. He told me every single one of my fears. Looking into my eyes, he cried and wept Fully understanding on what was kept Away from me for all of time Unabling me to call it mine. I spoke alloud asking for aid, But instead this secret, this promise was made. He showed me the garden of earthly delight. Then proceeded and showed me a light Of heavenly bliss, and all that's true. A world of love that no one knew. Chattering commenced all around Encased with feeling of safe and sound. Asking a question of what was to be. He sat, whispered, and simply told me. "Live on with your life kind, gentle son. The line segment has only just begun. Smile brightly in fully knowing That love is love in eternal glowing. Moving on is so hard to do, But it's the only way to always stay true. In the end you'll stop the sinking, And the mind will stay forever thinking." I took his words and started to apply What he said to avoid this lie. You live in fear of decision making. In reality the soul is breaking Into pieces falling asunder. A love you live, a spell you're under. Try to see what happens when you fall. The demon is not a demon at all.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
This is a GREAT peice, though I was unable to understand the meaning behind it, I have a basic undersanding of it though!! Keep up the great work!! Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
||
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
You're right. That was deep. Good thing it wasn't too deep... anyway, great job, as usual  Keep it up, kay? If you stop writing poetry, I'll... I'll... I don't know what I'll do, but I'll do something!~*Rhonda "I am Canadian" - Joe If you set limitations upon yourself, it's no wonder you fall short of your dreams - Rhonda J. Adolph |
||
|
peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Incredible. Absolutely incredible. Vreni |
||
|
mikeykrazy Junior Member
since 2000-12-20
Posts 37U.S.A |
 all i can say is grat poem. it has a storie line which love in long poems and t flowed so nicely. keep it up and good luck submit this one for the book thing happen in life that just need a poem. then ther poems just for the heack of it. |
||
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Dopey: Once again your work is outstanding. I loved the complexity of the piece. It calmed me down a bit  ~AF~ "Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement." Christopher Fry |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"Smile brightly in fully knowing That love is love in eternal glowing." "You live in fear of decision making. In reality the soul is breaking Into pieces falling asunder. A love you live, a spell you're under." Great writing Javier ... loved the lines above, and really enjoyed the depth of your thoughts and the weave of the story throughout the piece, well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
||
Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Dopey: THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!! ~*(squeezes living daylights out of ya because is so impressed!)*~ Oh my gosh!!! That was so awesome!!!! I have a lot of catching up on your poetry to do, haven't been around much, you probably haven't noticed. Well, love ya! How's life? C-ya around! I can't see at all. Even if I could it would all be great, to put your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad. |
||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
amazing Javier. I think i understand exaclty what you wrote. great job...bravo. cant wait for another one. Regina |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well thanks all.......this poem took some thought. I don't like the flow of it and some of the things are scattered....but the meaning i like.....but yea, it coulda been so much better. But i have a rule against revising my poems. I wing it.....WING!!!!! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
||
|
DreamerGrl27 Member
since 2000-10-29
Posts 142 |
I loved this! It was so good...the meaning of it and the way you worded everything, and the flow of it. It was a little long but it was definetly worth reading! This was really amazing...I really loved it. Great job!!! |
||
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
i love to see a new style dopey! great job deep it was, which is good gotta say this is one of my fav's best wishes ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
||
|
IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
"The demon is not a demon at all" So true You are amazing. ahem I mean it's ok for just winging it... lol  jk this is great. keep it up Jason "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
...walks in late hoping no one will notice... Excellent job on this! I actually liked the flow, and the length of it is fine. I'm putting this in my library so I'll remember to read it again later. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Well done. Not enough people take the time to listen to this "demon" who is talking to them. Yes, deep but not too deep... but is there really such thing as "too deep?" |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
