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Teen Poetry #3
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Teary Pillow
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Teary Pillow |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair 
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It's not a true event, but it's kinda sad and eerie. Just came to mind. Enjoy "Teary Pillow" Lying upon sheets of white, A pillow exists The room isn’t a fearful sight, But her dad is missed She’s deep in sorrow for weeks, ‘Cause of bad demise A molding of her face in sheets, A pillow of drippy eyes When will he soon show his face? Maybe in heaven’s mirror She cannot see this blessed place, For it may disturb her All she aches is an image of dad, Eerie sights may stir But it will surely leave her sad, And maybe even haunt her He was the devil engulfed in fire, Flames of hate rose Confusion alters her swollen desire, Questions were a’ pose Did she want to relive former ages, Of penalty and regret No need to dust off those dirty pages, They’re made to forget! J.D. Raulinaitis 1/2/01 < !signature--> "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde [This message has been edited by jeremydraul (edited 01-02-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a really vivid story with a lot of deep emotion. Eerie, like you said, but well-written. Thanks for posting. "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was a nice little tale jer. Very sad though......good it isn't true for you.....for one thing you're not a little girl.......second off, this is a true case for a few people out there. So good job in displaying this truthful horror for some.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Great peice, it may not be an experience for you, but im sure others have experienced it!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
thanks guys, i guess im in the story phase of writing, although their fiction! oh well! ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Story-poetry writing can be very good! And this one is very well done, like Erica said, very vivid. I enjoyed it greatly, keep on writing more of this kind of stuff!  *Krista Knutson* I'm a slow dying flower In a frost-killing hour The sweet turning sour and untouchable... -Natalie Merchant |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
great story.. sad.. but great, it is very vivid ~*Justine*~ |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Very interesting story... rather disturbing, however.... This is a good way to write if you can do it. Kudos! xoxo Jenn "A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
The fact that some poems are fiction is a really good thing, nice job here. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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