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Teen Poetry #3
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Betrayal’s Price
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Betrayal’s Price |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Despicable. Vreni Betrayal’s Price Imbibed illusion, melee of forgotten Raped inhibitions, haze of rotten. Innocence lost in merely a second, Drunken lust a force to be reckoned. Uncounted outcomes foresee bitter end, Dead to the world, without any friends. Stumble on trust, the scattered dreams, Sounds of life ripped apart at the seams. Look backwards in time, aghast at the sight, Shame-ridden loathing fitfully light. Erratum confusion committed within, Conspicuous craft of Ultimate sin. Eternal attendant’s refusal to learn, A place in hell you’ve dutifully earned. |
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| © Copyright 2001 peanogrl83 - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was chillin vreni. Whoever betrayed who was bad....naughty.....Good poem tho....very good!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
peanogrl83: I love this piece. The words bring such vivid images into my head..Fantastic piece of writing. Whoever this person is, is obviously a horrible human being. ~AF~ "Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement." Christopher Fry |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
this is a wonderfully written piece... emotion radiates from it, greta work, i agree with AF that it conjures up mental images. ~*Pixie*~ |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Great vocabulary used here, the poem is excellent. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Thanks to all that replied.... Dopey - As you already know whom this is pertaining to .....they didn't betray me, but rather themselves. Mistakes are made. Consequences met. Life goes on... Anonymous - Quite the contrary, the person this is about is far from a horrid human being, they just made a horrid mistake that's effects have rippled throughout the lives of those around them. Lake - thanks for the compliments, mi amigo. Same to pixie! Vreni |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Great post, betrayal to oneself is terrible... it is hard to come to grips with yourself afterwards too... I hope everything works out for the best for you!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
let's get this straight. I did nothing wrong nor betray myself....This poem is NOT about me. Okeydokey? Are we clear on this? NOT ME. Vreni |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Reeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr.........sizzle sizzle. cool it I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
WOW... I'm almost afraid to reply... jk. So who betrayed who?  lol jk This was a great poem. A betrayal always has consiquences. nice job "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
good poem sorry people misunderstood you! hope everyone gets well best wishes ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I'm almost afraid to reply too  Well Vreni, sorry if i misunderstood your poem. But to me it seems like some people got drunk and stupid things happened, or someone got drunk and got taken advantage of. I'm leaning more into the second one cause that's more of a betrayal to me, the first one is more like irresponsibility in both sides. I'd love for you to explain what's going on. Sorry, I'm not here to pry into your personal life, you don't have to if you don't want to. it's just that reading the replies to your poem has made me so curious.< !signature-->I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR [This message has been edited by acire (edited 01-04-2001).] |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
acire - this has gotten touchy very quickly, there are legal rammifications now if I publicly air anything that remotely resembles details. I was just clarifying the fact that this poem was NOT about me...and that I did not betray myself, nor did anyone betray me. For everyone else's benefit, the events that unfolded occured at a New years eve party...and I was home....talking to Dopey, actually..lol. (hence, I was not involved) The poem is about a FRIENDS self-betrayl. They didn't betray me, they betrayed themselves...and THEY were betrayed by another. I am straightedge, so naturally, others impression that this was about myself bothered me (as alcohol is involved and the events that unfolded were greatly influenced by the involved parties' decision to drink )... This is making little sense. Oy vey, I'll just send you an email, okay acire? lol Vreni |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Everybody......no worries mmmmkay? The poem is great and i think that the general bulk of meaning is well described within the poem, which is BETRAYAL. So yea.....no worries guys........mmmkay? I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
This was very good! I like your style, but I don't like the way you view your work  Don't take that wrong-- Your work is GOOD and you get VERY good replies from fellow poets! You just don't give YOURSELF the credit you deserve for your talent... where is that confidence, huh? HUH?! *LOL* GREAT JOB!! |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
i think this is really good so im bumping it  I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Author Unknown Member
since 2001-01-05
Posts 57Linn MO USA |
intense, very intense also very good *dont let life bring you down, dig thru the ditches and deck it in the face and reclaim your place*-----Kyle Finn....2001 |
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